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9 of the best responses to the haka - and four cultural ideas for Gatland's Lions

Haka time

As Warren Gatland’s Lions prepare to face their first haka, James Harrington counts down nine epic moments from hakas past

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How do you respond to the haka? It’s a question that has stumped some of the finest rugby minds – and even more of its not-so fine minds – for years.

Some leave it to the crowd. England and Scotland both tried it in 2008 – the English faithful at Twickenham drowned out the ceremony with a lusty rendition of one line of Swing Low Sweet Chariot, while the Scottish fans at Murrayfield tried a Loch Lomond variation on the theme.

Here, we count down the nine best haka moments, from Willie Anderson’s tete-a-tete with Wayne Shelford in 1989, to Wales’s intense stare-down in 2008.

And, yes, Richard Cockerill’s in here, too.

9 The fightin’ Irish, led by Willie Anderson, were one of the first to give the stand-off thing a serious go in 1989

That was about as close as the Irish got to victory. It ended 23-6.

8 The Australians did their best to ignore it in 1996

Maybe they would have been better advised to pay attention. Because they upset their opponents. Who proceeded to put them to the sword. New Zealand won 43-6.

7 A year later, Richard Cockerill gave Norm Hewitt the “C’mon  – ‘ave a go” in his now-notorious one-man challenge

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It turned out not to be Cockers’ cleverest move. Norm did ‘ave a go. So did the other New Zealand players. And England lost 25-8.

6 On the same tour, Munster’s Kiwi quartet, led by Dougie Howlett, performed a pre-emptive haka

And the Thomond crowd lapped it up. It nearly worked, too, but New Zealand edged the game 18-16 at the death.

5 There must have been something about 2008, because on that same tour, Wales’ response came in the form of interpretive statuary

Be patient. The stand-off lasted so long that referee Jonathan Kaplan had to remind both sets of players what they were actually there to do.

Even after the reminder, Wales forgot that they still had to play a game of rugby and lost 29-9.

4 At the 2011 World Cup final, an effectively coachless France flicked an almighty Anglo-Saxon V at it

Aaaand… France nearly won.

3 In defence of the French, they’d done something similar at the previous World Cup

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And had won. 20-18.

2 And at Australia 2003, there was this New Zealand / Tongan war dance-off

Hairs. On. The. Back. Of. Your. Neck. For half a minute.

1 Not strictly a response, but this tribute to Anthony Foley from the Maori All Blacks before their match against Munster in November 2016 is an incredible moment

https://youtu.be/gia4o6uRPzQ

It’s been all-but forgotten amid the emotion of the moment, but Munster’s players – a ragtag army of the club’s second battalion and five Academy recruits stared them down. And, again, the packed Thomond Park crowd lapped it up. And then they were treated to something rather special, as Munster won 27-14

Of those nine responses, two actually worked – which is actually better than the rest of the rugby world’s win record against New Zealand, so there may be something in finding some way to accept the challenge. The trick is knowing what the best response is.

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Warren Gatland is answering culture with culture on this tour, with the tourists indulging in a spot of close-harmony singing, featuring songs from the four nations that make up the Lions squad.

But, on the pitch, the haka deserves something a little more physical. In keeping with the cultural aspect, here are four traditional responses – one from each of the countries that make up the squad.

From England: Morris Dancing

It’s definitely traditional. And definitely cultural. But even extreme morris dancing is grown men with bells on the their legs. And there’s always the risk of concussion.

From Scotland: Sword Dancing

https://youtu.be/pjXYfDax_-0

Hairy-arsed forwards in rugby boots jumping daintily over a sharp object on the ground in front of them? What could possibly go wrong? Oh, and kilts… Danger there.

From Wales: Clog Dancing

Ummm…. Yeah.

From Ireland: Irish Dancing

Let’s go for broke. Complete with close-harmony singing, we give you…

Admit it, That would go down a storm at Eden Park. And we’re sure Sam Warburton could carry off that flowing silk shirt-and-mullet combo.

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O
Oh no, not him again? 2 hours ago
England internationals disagree on final play execution vs All Blacks

Okay, so we blew it big time on Saturday. So rather than repeating what most people have all ready said, what do I want to see from Borthwick going forward?


Let's keep Marcus Smith on the pitch if he's fit and playing well. I was really pleased with his goal kicking. It used to be his weakness. I feel sympathy for George Ford who hadn't kicked all match and then had a kick to win the game. You hear pundits and commentators commend kickers who have come off the bench and pulled that off. Its not easy. If Steve B continues to substitute players with no clear reason then he is going to get criticised.


On paper I thought England would beat NZ if they played to their potential and didn't show NZ too much respect. Okay, the off the ball tackles certainly stopped England scoring tries, but I would have liked to see more smashing over gainlines and less kicking for position. Yes, I also know it's the Springbok endorsed world cup double winning formula but the Kiwi defence isn't the Bok defence, is it. If you have the power to put Smith on the front foot then why muzzle him? I guess what I'm saying is back, yourself. Why give the momentum to a team like NZ? Why feed the beast? Don't give the ball to NZ. Well d'uh.


Our scrum is a long term weakness. If you are going to play Itoje then he needs an ogre next door and a decent front row. Where is our third world class lock? Where are are realible front row bench replacements? The England scrum has been flakey for a while now. It blows hot and cold. Our front five bench is not world class.


On the positive side I love our starting backrow right now. I'd like to see them stick together through to the next world cup.


Anyway, there is always another Saturday.

7 Go to comments
C
CO 3 hours ago
Scott Robertson responds to criticism over All Blacks' handling errors

Robertson is more a manager of coaches than a coach so it comes down to intent of outcomes at a high level. I like his intent, I like the fact his Allblacks are really driving the outcomes however as he's pointed out the high error rates are not test level and their control of the game is driving both wins and losses. England didn't have to play a lot of rugby, they made far fewer mistakes and were extremely unlucky not to win.


In fact the English team were very early in their season and should've been comfortably beaten by an Allblacks team that had played multiple tests together.


Razor has himself recognised that to be the best they'll have to sort out the crisis levels of mistakes that have really increased since the first two tests against England.


Early tackles were a classic example of hyper enthusiasm to not give an inch, that passion that Razor has achieved is going to be formidable once the unforced errors are eliminated.


That's his secret, he's already rebuilt the passion and that's the most important aspect, its inevitable that he'll now eradicate the unforced errors. When that happens a fellow tier one nation is going to get thrashed. I don't think it will be until 2025 though.


The Allblacks will lose both tests against Ireland and France if they play high error rates rugby like they did against England.


To get the unforced errors under control he's going to be needing to handover the number eight role to Sititi and reset expectations of what loose forwards do. Establish a clear distinction with a large, swarthy lineout jumper at six that is a feared runner and dominant tackler and a turnover specialist at seven that is abrasive in contact. He'll then need to build depth behind the three starters and ruthlessly select for that group to be peaking in 2027 in hit Australian conditions on firm, dry grounds.


It's going to help him that Savea is shifting to the worst super rugby franchise where he's going to struggle behind a beaten pack every week.


The under performing loose forward trio is the key driver of the high error rates and unacceptable turn overs due to awol link work. Sititi is looking like he's superman compared to his openside and eight.


At this late stage in the season they shouldn't be operating with just the one outstanding loose forward out of four selected for the English test. That's an abject failure but I think Robertson's sacrificing link quality on purpose to build passion amongst the junior Allblacks as they see the reverential treatment the old warhorses are receiving for their long term hard graft.


It's unfortunately losing test matches and making what should be comfortable wins into nail biters but it's early in the world cup cycle so perhaps it's a sacrifice worth making.


However if this was F1 then Sam Cane would be Riccardo and Ardie would be heading into Perez territory so the loose forwards desperately need revitalisation through a rebuild over the next season to complement the formidable tight five.

28 Go to comments
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