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9 of the best responses to the haka - and four cultural ideas for Gatland's Lions

Haka time

As Warren Gatland’s Lions prepare to face their first haka, James Harrington counts down nine epic moments from hakas past

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How do you respond to the haka? It’s a question that has stumped some of the finest rugby minds – and even more of its not-so fine minds – for years.

Some leave it to the crowd. England and Scotland both tried it in 2008 – the English faithful at Twickenham drowned out the ceremony with a lusty rendition of one line of Swing Low Sweet Chariot, while the Scottish fans at Murrayfield tried a Loch Lomond variation on the theme.

Here, we count down the nine best haka moments, from Willie Anderson’s tete-a-tete with Wayne Shelford in 1989, to Wales’s intense stare-down in 2008.

And, yes, Richard Cockerill’s in here, too.

9 The fightin’ Irish, led by Willie Anderson, were one of the first to give the stand-off thing a serious go in 1989

That was about as close as the Irish got to victory. It ended 23-6.

8 The Australians did their best to ignore it in 1996

Maybe they would have been better advised to pay attention. Because they upset their opponents. Who proceeded to put them to the sword. New Zealand won 43-6.

7 A year later, Richard Cockerill gave Norm Hewitt the “C’mon  – ‘ave a go” in his now-notorious one-man challenge

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It turned out not to be Cockers’ cleverest move. Norm did ‘ave a go. So did the other New Zealand players. And England lost 25-8.

6 On the same tour, Munster’s Kiwi quartet, led by Dougie Howlett, performed a pre-emptive haka

And the Thomond crowd lapped it up. It nearly worked, too, but New Zealand edged the game 18-16 at the death.

5 There must have been something about 2008, because on that same tour, Wales’ response came in the form of interpretive statuary

Be patient. The stand-off lasted so long that referee Jonathan Kaplan had to remind both sets of players what they were actually there to do.

Even after the reminder, Wales forgot that they still had to play a game of rugby and lost 29-9.

4 At the 2011 World Cup final, an effectively coachless France flicked an almighty Anglo-Saxon V at it

Aaaand… France nearly won.

3 In defence of the French, they’d done something similar at the previous World Cup

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And had won. 20-18.

2 And at Australia 2003, there was this New Zealand / Tongan war dance-off

Hairs. On. The. Back. Of. Your. Neck. For half a minute.

1 Not strictly a response, but this tribute to Anthony Foley from the Maori All Blacks before their match against Munster in November 2016 is an incredible moment

https://youtu.be/gia4o6uRPzQ

It’s been all-but forgotten amid the emotion of the moment, but Munster’s players – a ragtag army of the club’s second battalion and five Academy recruits stared them down. And, again, the packed Thomond Park crowd lapped it up. And then they were treated to something rather special, as Munster won 27-14

Of those nine responses, two actually worked – which is actually better than the rest of the rugby world’s win record against New Zealand, so there may be something in finding some way to accept the challenge. The trick is knowing what the best response is.

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Warren Gatland is answering culture with culture on this tour, with the tourists indulging in a spot of close-harmony singing, featuring songs from the four nations that make up the Lions squad.

But, on the pitch, the haka deserves something a little more physical. In keeping with the cultural aspect, here are four traditional responses – one from each of the countries that make up the squad.

From England: Morris Dancing

It’s definitely traditional. And definitely cultural. But even extreme morris dancing is grown men with bells on the their legs. And there’s always the risk of concussion.

From Scotland: Sword Dancing

https://youtu.be/pjXYfDax_-0

Hairy-arsed forwards in rugby boots jumping daintily over a sharp object on the ground in front of them? What could possibly go wrong? Oh, and kilts… Danger there.

From Wales: Clog Dancing

Ummm…. Yeah.

From Ireland: Irish Dancing

Let’s go for broke. Complete with close-harmony singing, we give you…

Admit it, That would go down a storm at Eden Park. And we’re sure Sam Warburton could carry off that flowing silk shirt-and-mullet combo.

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B
BeamMeUp 3 hours ago
The Springboks have something you don't have

A few comments. Firstly, I am a Bok fan and it's been a golden period for us. I hope my fellow Bok fans appreciate this time and know that it cannot last forever, so soak it all in!


The other thing to mention (and this is targeted at Welsh, English and even Aussie supporters who might be feeling somewhat dejected) is that it's easy to forget that just before Rassie Erasmus took over in 2018, the Boks were ranked 7th in the world and I had given up hope we'd ever be world beaters again.


Sport is a fickle thing and Rassie and his team have managed to get right whatever little things it takes to make a mediocre team great. I initially worried his methods might be short-lived (how many times can you raise a person's commitment by talking about his family and his love of his country as a motivator), but he seems to have found a way. After winning in 2019 on what was a very simple game plan, he has taken things up ever year - amazing work which has to be applauded! (Dankie Rassie! Ons wardeer wat jy vir die ondersteuners en die land doen!) (Google translate if you don't understand Afrikaans! 😁)


I don't think people outside South Africa fully comprehend the enormity of the impact seeing black and white, English, Afrikaans and Xhosa and all the other hues playing together does for the country's sense of unity. It's pure joy and happiness.


This autumn tour has been a bit frustrating in that the Boks have won, but never all that convincingly. On the one hand, I'd like to have seen more decisive victories, BUT what Rassie has done is expose a huge number of players to test rugby, whilst also diversifying the way the Boks play (Tony Brown's influence).


This change of both style and personnel has resulted in a lack of cohesion at times and we've lost some of the control, whereas had we been playing our more traditional style, that wouldn't happen. This is partially attributable to the fact that you cannot play Tony Brown's expansive game whilst also having 3 players available at every contact point to clear the defence off the ball. I have enjoyed seeing the Boks play a more exciting, less attritional game, which is a boring, albeit effective spectacle. So, I am happy to be patient, because the end justifies the means (and I trust Rassie!). Hopefully all these players we are blooding will give us incredible options for substitutions come next year's Rugby Championship and of course, the big prize in 2027.


Last point! The game of rugby has never been as exciting as it is now. Any of Ireland, New Zealand, South Africa, France, Argentina, Scotland, England & Australia can beat one another. South Africa may be ranked #1, but I wouldn't bet my house in them beating France or New Zealand, and we saw Argentina beating both South Africa and New Zealand this year! That's wonderful for the game and makes the victories we do get all the sweeter. Each win is 100% earned. Long may it last!


Sorry for the long post! 🏉🌍

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