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'Blood everywhere, missing teeth, broken noses, black eyes. It was horrifying.'

The new season of RugbyPass Offload aired this week, bringing with it the introduction of a new section in which an extract from a legend’s autobiography is read.

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Max Lahiff and Ryan Wilson joined host Marc Edwards in episode one, where Lahiff put his oratory skills to good use and read out a rather extreme excerpt from an autobiography for Wilson, who had to guess who the legend was.

This is the extract, see if you can work out who it was written by, and watch the video below to find out the author: “We ended up at a dodgy South African nightclub. I still don’t know how we settled on that particular place, but somehow half the World Cup squads were there, blowing off steam after the tournament. South Africa was still a pretty divided country racially in some scenarios. I remember being vaguely conscious that some parts of the crowd might have been disturbed by the Polynesians in our midst.

“Out of the blue, a voice boomed out over the club’s sound system: ‘Could all the New Zealanders please leave the premises immediately’. Shocked at what was unfolding, Luke McAlister and I fled the venue and the pending violence.

“We didn’t know it yet, but that one random, somewhat selfish decision might have ended up saving lives. As soon as we left things exploded. Players started brawling with the bouncers. But what sent the whole scene over the edge was when reinforcements arrived not long after. That included several fans arriving and big security types piled out.

“It became a scene of extreme violence, and guys from both sides were getting seriously beaten up. The whole thing had a level of violence way beyond the average pub brawl. Sam Tuitupou laid a couple of guys out, before being overrun.

“Then gunshots rang out.

“The gunfire saw members of the New Zealand Under-21 team seek the refuge of their team vans. Sam had been pistol-whipped, Jason Shoemark had copped a hell of a beating. As the vans tried to leave, the windows were smashed in – guys were jumping fences, just running for their lives.”

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“We headed back to the hotel scared out of our minds, still not sure what had happened. When we arrived it was just carnage. There were guys with blood everywhere, guys missing teeth, broken noses, black eyes. It was horrifying. Everyone was terrified, scared for their lives.

“I still don’t know if guns were being shot at people, or whether security guards were just shooting in the air to put the s*** up them. It doesn’t really matter – the fact that they had guns and were pistol whipping guys and pointing them at us made the situation by far the most serious and intense I’d encountered at any point in my playing career.”

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J
JW 2 hours ago
'Passionate reunion of France and New Zealand shows Fabien Galthie is wrong to rest his stars'

Ok, managed to read the full article..

... New Zealand’s has only 14 and the professional season is all over within four months. In France, club governance is the responsibility of an independent organisation [the Ligue Nationale de Rugby or LNR] which is entirely separate from the host union [the Fédération Française de Rugby or FFR]. Down south New Zealand Rugby runs the provincial and the national game.

That is the National Provincial Championship, a competition of 14 representative union based teams run through the SH international window and only semi professional (paid only during it's running). It is run by NZR and goes for two and a half months.


Super Rugby is a competition involving 12 fully professional teams, of which 5 are of New Zealand eligibility, and another joint administered team of Pacific Island eligibility, with NZR involvement. It was a 18 week competition this year, so involved (randomly chosen I believe) extra return fixtures (2 or 3 home and away derbys), and is run by Super Rugby Pacific's own independent Board (or organisation). The teams may or may not be independently run and owned (note, this does not necessarily mean what you think of as 'privately owned').


LNR was setup by FFR and the French Government to administer the professional game in France. In New Zealand, the Players Association and Super Rugby franchises agreed last month to not setup their own governance structure for professional rugby and re-aligned themselves with New Zealand Rugby. They had been proposing to do something like the English model, I'm not sure how closely that would have been aligned to the French system but it did not sound like it would have French union executive representation on it like the LNR does.

In the shaky isles the professional pyramid tapers to a point with the almighty All Blacks. In France the feeling for country is no more important than the sense of fierce local identity spawned at myriad clubs concentrated in the southwest. Progress is achieved by a nonchalant shrug and the wide sweep of nuanced negotiation, rather than driven from the top by a single intense focus.

Yes, it is pretty much a 'representative' selection system at every level, but these union's are having to fight for their existence against the regime that is NZR, and are currently going through their own battle, just as France has recently as I understand it. A single focus, ala the French game, might not be the best outcome for rugby as a whole.


For pure theatre, it is a wonderful article so far. I prefer 'Ntamack New Zealand 2022' though.

The young Crusader still struggles to solve the puzzle posed by the shorter, more compact tight-heads at this level but he had no problem at all with Colombe.

It was interesting to listen to Manny during an interview on Maul or Nothing, he citied that after a bit of banter with the All Black's he no longer wanted one of their jersey's after the game. One of those talks was an eye to eye chat with Tamaiti Williams, there appear to be nothing between the lock and prop, just a lot of give and take. I thought TW angled in and caused Taylor to pop a few times, and that NZ were lucky to be rewarded.

f you have a forward of 6ft 8ins and 145kg, and he is not at all disturbed by a dysfunctional set-piece, you are in business.

He talked about the clarity of the leadership that helped alleviate any need for anxiety at the predicaments unfolding before him. The same cannot be said for New Zealand when they had 5 minutes left to retrieve a match winning penalty, I don't believe. Did the team in black have much of a plan at any point in the game? I don't really call an autonomous 10 vehicle they had as innovative. I think Razor needs to go back to the dealer and get a new game driver on that one.

Vaa’i is no match for his power on the ground. Even in reverse, Meafou is like a tractor motoring backwards in low gear, trampling all in its path.

Vaa'i actually stops him in his tracks. He gets what could have been a dubious 'tackle' on him?

A high-level offence will often try to identify and exploit big forwards who can be slower to reload, and therefore vulnerable to two quick plays run at them consecutively.

Yes he was just standing on his haunches wasn't he? He mentioned that in the interview, saying that not only did you just get up and back into the line to find the opposition was already set and running at you they also hit harder than anything he'd experienced in the Top 14. He was referring to New Zealands ultra-physical, burst-based Super style of course, which he was more than a bit surprised about. I don't blame him for being caught out.


He still sent the obstruction back to the repair yard though!

What wouldn’t the New Zealand rugby public give to see the likes of Mauvaka and Meafou up front..

Common now Nick, don't go there! Meafou showed his Toulouse shirt and promptly got his citizenship, New Zealand can't have him, surely?!?


As I have said before with these subjects, really enjoy your enthusiasm for their contribution on the field and I'd love to see more of their shapes running out for Vern Cotter and the like styled teams.

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