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'Blood everywhere, missing teeth, broken noses, black eyes. It was horrifying.'

The new season of RugbyPass Offload aired this week, bringing with it the introduction of a new section in which an extract from a legend’s autobiography is read.

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Max Lahiff and Ryan Wilson joined host Marc Edwards in episode one, where Lahiff put his oratory skills to good use and read out a rather extreme excerpt from an autobiography for Wilson, who had to guess who the legend was.

This is the extract, see if you can work out who it was written by, and watch the video below to find out the author: “We ended up at a dodgy South African nightclub. I still don’t know how we settled on that particular place, but somehow half the World Cup squads were there, blowing off steam after the tournament. South Africa was still a pretty divided country racially in some scenarios. I remember being vaguely conscious that some parts of the crowd might have been disturbed by the Polynesians in our midst.

“Out of the blue, a voice boomed out over the club’s sound system: ‘Could all the New Zealanders please leave the premises immediately’. Shocked at what was unfolding, Luke McAlister and I fled the venue and the pending violence.

“We didn’t know it yet, but that one random, somewhat selfish decision might have ended up saving lives. As soon as we left things exploded. Players started brawling with the bouncers. But what sent the whole scene over the edge was when reinforcements arrived not long after. That included several fans arriving and big security types piled out.

“It became a scene of extreme violence, and guys from both sides were getting seriously beaten up. The whole thing had a level of violence way beyond the average pub brawl. Sam Tuitupou laid a couple of guys out, before being overrun.

“Then gunshots rang out.

“The gunfire saw members of the New Zealand Under-21 team seek the refuge of their team vans. Sam had been pistol-whipped, Jason Shoemark had copped a hell of a beating. As the vans tried to leave, the windows were smashed in – guys were jumping fences, just running for their lives.”

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“We headed back to the hotel scared out of our minds, still not sure what had happened. When we arrived it was just carnage. There were guys with blood everywhere, guys missing teeth, broken noses, black eyes. It was horrifying. Everyone was terrified, scared for their lives.

“I still don’t know if guns were being shot at people, or whether security guards were just shooting in the air to put the s*** up them. It doesn’t really matter – the fact that they had guns and were pistol whipping guys and pointing them at us made the situation by far the most serious and intense I’d encountered at any point in my playing career.”

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J
JW 1 hour ago
Does South Africa have a future in European competition?

I rated Lowe well enough to be an AB. Remember we were picking the likes of George Bridge above such players so theres no disputing a lot of bad decisions have been made by those last two coaches. Does a team like the ABs need a finicky winger who you have to adapt and change a lot of your style with to get benefit from? No, not really. But he still would have been a basic improvement on players like even Savea at the tail of his career, Bridge, and could even have converted into the answer of replacing Beauden at the back. Instead we persisted with NMS, Naholo, Havili, Reece, all players we would have cared even less about losing and all because Rieko had Lowe's number 11 jersey nailed down.


He was of course only 23 when he decided to leave, it was back in the beggining of the period they had started retaining players (from 2018 onwards I think, they came out saying theyre going to be more aggressive at some point). So he might, all of them, only just missed out.


The main point that Ed made is that situations like Lowe's, Aki's, JGP's, aren't going to happen in future. That's a bit of a "NZ" only problem, because those players need to reach such a high standard to be chosen by the All Blacks, were as a country like Ireland wants them a lot earlier like that. This is basically the 'ready in 3 years' concept Ireland relied on, versus the '5 years and they've left' concept' were that player is now ready to be chosen by the All Blacks (given a contract to play Super, ala SBW, and hopefully Manu).


The 'mercenary' thing that will take longer to expire, and which I was referring to, is the grandparents rule. The new kids coming through now aren't going to have as many gp born overseas, so the amount of players that can leave with a prospect of International rugby offer are going to drop dramatically at some point. All these kiwi fellas playing for a PI, is going to stop sadly.


The new era problem that will replace those old concerns is now French and Japanese clubs (doing the same as NRL teams have done for decades by) picking kids out of school. The problem here is not so much a national identity one, than it is a farm system where 9 in 10 players are left with nothing. A stunted education and no support in a foreign country (well they'll get kicked out of those countries were they don't in Australia).


It's the same sort of situation were NZ would be the big guy, but there weren't many downsides with it. The only one I can think was brought up but a poster on this site, I can't recall who it was, but he seemed to know a lot of kids coming from the Islands weren't really given the capability to fly back home during school xms holidays etc. That is probably something that should be fixed by the union. Otherwise getting someone like Fakatava over here for his last year of school definitely results in NZ being able to pick the cherries off the top but it also allows that player to develop and be able to represent Tonga and under age and possibly even later in his career. Where as a kid being taken from NZ is arguably going to be worse off in every respect other than perhaps money. Not going to develop as a person, not going to develop as a player as much, so I have a lotof sympathy for NZs case that I don't include them in that group but I certainly see where you're coming from and it encourages other countries to think they can do the same while not realising they're making a much worse experience/situation.

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