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'Did Martin Johnson really just say that? Was he serious?'- Max's Book Club

In the latest instalment of Max’s Book Club on RugbyPass Offload, we are taken to a player’s bizarre encounter with Martin Johnson in his very first England training camp.

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Jack Nowell joined Marc Edwards, Max Lahiff and Ryan Wilson in this week’s episode, and had to guess which autobiography this latest excerpt was taken from. Lahiff narrates the player in question’s frosty encounter with England’s World Cup winning captain, and how a haircut may have been the cause of their relationship getting off on the wrong foot.

“‘Got your kit sorted?'” the extract began.

“I looked up and saw the bent nose and the huge squashed brow. It was Martin Johnson, England’s best ever captain, booming down at me from his great height.

“Intimidating doesn’t even begin to cover it. I’d watched him lifting the 2003 World Cup on telly when I was a fat 13-year-old. He was one of the most phenomenal players the country had ever seen. Now here he was, not just standing in front of me, but eye-balling me at the start of my first England training camp in February 2010.

“‘Yes,’ I squeaked. ‘The kit man sorted me out.’

“‘So you’re good to go? Good to train, are you?’

“I detected an edge to his voice. ‘Yeah, I’m good to go …’ I was shifting my weight from one foot to the other and mumbling my words. It wasn’t the impression I wanted to give to one of rugby’s hardest men.

“‘Well,’ he barked, ‘you’re gonna have to get rid of that f******g stupid haircut before you do!’

“I blushed. Did Martin Johnson really just say that? Was he serious? I was confused as well as shocked, because what did my haircut have to do with him, with rugby? He stalked off and I glanced around awkwardly, wondering what to do next.

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“I could only assume he was showing me who was boss, stamping his authority on a new pup. Besides, how was I supposed to get rid of my haircut here?

“I nipped to the toilet before the training session started and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. It’ll be fine, I thought. I’ll just have to crack on and hope he doesn’t mention it again.

“My mohican was dyed the brightest red you could imagine. During the week I’d had it trimmed into a very tight, neat stripe, so it looked like I had a giant scarlet-coloured caterpillar sleeping down the middle of my scalp. For a bit of extra pizzazz I had stars and stripes shaved around the sides of my head. It was an absolutely brilliant haircut, the best I’d ever had. There was no way in the world I was getting rid of it, not even for Martin Johnson.

“I ran out onto the field. F**k you, Martin Johnson, I thought. You can’t make me shave my head. My hair’s got nothing to do with rugby!”

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Hellhound 43 minutes ago
Does South Africa have a future in European competition?

All you can do is hate on SA. Jealousy makes you nasty and it's never a good look. Those who actually knows rugby is all talking about the depth and standards of the SA players. They don't wear blinders like you. The NH had many years to build the depth and players for multiple competition the SA teams didn't. There will be growing pains. Not least travel issues. The NH teams barely have to travel to play an opponent opposed to the SA teams. That is just one issue. There is many more issues, hence the "growing pains". The CC isn't yet a priority and this is what most people have a problem with. Saying SA is disrespecting that competition which isn't true. SA don't have the funds yet to go big and get the players needed for 3 competitions. It all costs a lot of money. It's over using players and get them injured or prioritising what they can deliver with what are available. To qualify for CC, they need to perform well in the URC, so that is where the main priorities is currently. In time that will change with sponsors coming in fast. They are at a distinct disadvantage currently compared to the rest. Be happy about that, because they already are the best international team. You would have hated it if they kept winning the club competitions like the URC and CC every year too. Don't be such a sourmouth loser. See the complete picture and judge accordingly. There is many factors you aren't even aware of at play that you completely ignore just to sound relevant. Instead of being an positive influence and spread the game and help it grow, we have to read nonsense like this from haters. Just grow up and stop hating on the game. Go watch soccer or something that loves people like you.

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