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'I got into a bit of a dark place' - Coles on contemplating retirement

(Photo by Getty Images)

The persistent concussion symptoms that forced Dane Coles to miss the Test series against the British and Irish Lions left the New Zealand hooker contemplating the prospect of premature retirement.

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Coles is due to make his first Super Rugby appearance for Hurricanes since suffering a blow to the head in March, an incident that left him indefinitely sidelined with recurring problems and was compounded by a calf injury.

A 2015 Rugby World Cup winner, capped 49 times by his country, Coles played no part in the drawn series against the Lions, but is relieved to be back in selection contention for Friday’s quarter-final against the Brumbies.

“I got into a bit of a dark place,” he told reporters.

“I couldn’t even do any exercise and I had conversations with my partner about retirement. It was really hard. I love playing footy, it’s my job and I couldn’t do it.

“There were a lot of days thinking about it, it was constantly on my mind and it wasn’t till I saw a sports psychologist I was referred to, that put some structure in my life and the way I was thinking. I was quite negative, not in a bad way, just thinking ‘this might be it’.

“I had a talk to my missus and said ‘this might be us, I might be hanging up the boots’ and that was about it.

“Nothing like trying to find a new job or anything, just the way I was thinking and the state I was in. I spoke to a few good people and they gave me some really good structures to help me see a positive mindset and turn things around.”

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Nickers 17 minutes ago
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I thought we made a lot of progress against that type of defence by the WC last year. Lots of direct running and punching holes rather than using width. Against that type of defence I think you have to be looking to kick on first phase when you have front foot ball which we did relatively successfully. We are playing a lot of rugby behind the gain line at the moment. They are looking for those little interchanges for soft shoulders and fast ball or off loads but it regularly turns into them battering away with slow ball and going backwards, then putting in a very rushed kick under huge pressure.


JB brought that dimension when he first moved into 12 a couple of years ago but he's definitely not been at his best this year. I don't know if it is because he is being asked to play a narrow role, or carrying a niggle or two, but he does not look confident to me. He had that clean break on the weekend and stood there like he was a prop who found himself in open space and didn't know what to do with the ball. He is still a good first phase ball carrier though, they use him a lot off the line out to set up fast clean ball, but I don't think anyone is particularly clear on what they are supposed to do at that point. He was used really successfully as a second playmaker last year but I don't think he's been at that role once this year. He is a triple threat player but playing a very 1 dimensional role at the moment. He and Reiko have been absolutely rock solid on defence which is why I don't think there will be too much experimentation or changes there.

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