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How Lima Sopoaga's 'scary but liberating' therapy inspired return to form

(Photo by Malcolm Couzens/Getty Images)

Former All Black first five eighth Lima Sopoaga has opened up about how a therapist helped turn around his rugby form on English soil, saying it was one of the best experiences of his life.

When Sopoaga left New Zealand shores in 2018, he arrived at a Wasps side in the English Premiership that demanded excellence; and by his own standards he felt he fell short of those expectations.

As the marquee replacement for English international Danny Cipriani, Sopoaga had large boots to fill and struggled to gel with the wider squad.

“You have someone who is as special as Danny, he’s always going to be hard to replace,” Sopoaga told the Daily Telegraph.

“I am never going to be that guy. That’s not who I am. Also, I was not able to build those relationships with the guys around me as quickly as I would have liked. That’s something people maybe don’t understand; that you can’t just come into a team and instantly click.

“At times, I was getting down on myself too easily and that just snowballing, at the same time as a group probably in a place where we were not high on confidence and that just filtered throughout the club.”

While the appointment of a new head coach helped with his role in the team, along with support of team doctor Ralph Mitchell and his family; Sopoaga says seeing a therapist about his mental health was a crucial step in reversing his fortunes.

“The stigma around talking and opening up as a footie player is starting to come off.

“Rugby players are looked at as these macho, tough dudes, but really, we are just like anyone else. That was one of the best things I have ever done.

“I would encourage not only rugby players, but men especially, to get out of your comfort zone. It is hard, and initially it is pretty daunting and scary, but it can also be one of the most liberating things you can do.”

That sense of liberation has now been translated by Sopoaga into a stunning reversal of form on the field in the current English Premiership season.

After losing his place in the No?10 pecking order to youngsters Jacob Umaga and Charlie Atkinson, Sopoaga has shifted to fullback where he has relished the greater freedom.

Last weekend, he scored 14 points, including a try, in Wasps’ resounding defeat of champions Exeter.

Heading into this weekend’s match against Bath, Sopoaga has no doubt that he is playing the best rugby of his time in England right now.

“I am probably in the happiest place as well mentally, and I think that’s helped my game,” he said. “It is no secret I have struggled, but I have learnt a lot going through that process and fighting my way out of it.”

He has also embraced the responsibility to act as a mentor to Wasps’ young English first fives, passing on knowledge he was once handed down to him by Dan Carter and Aaron Cruden.

“I was blessed to have some wicked mentors,” Sopoaga said. “Those guys told me, ‘One day, you will be in this position’, and they asked I do the same for a young kid coming up. They were right. I am now in this position and it would be a disservice to those who helped me on in my career if I did not pass on what I know.”

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J
JW 6 hours ago
Does South Africa have a future in European competition?

I rated Lowe well enough to be an AB. Remember we were picking the likes of George Bridge above such players so theres no disputing a lot of bad decisions have been made by those last two coaches. Does a team like the ABs need a finicky winger who you have to adapt and change a lot of your style with to get benefit from? No, not really. But he still would have been a basic improvement on players like even Savea at the tail of his career, Bridge, and could even have converted into the answer of replacing Beauden at the back. Instead we persisted with NMS, Naholo, Havili, Reece, all players we would have cared even less about losing and all because Rieko had Lowe's number 11 jersey nailed down.


He was of course only 23 when he decided to leave, it was back in the beggining of the period they had started retaining players (from 2018 onwards I think, they came out saying theyre going to be more aggressive at some point). So he might, all of them, only just missed out.


The main point that Ed made is that situations like Lowe's, Aki's, JGP's, aren't going to happen in future. That's a bit of a "NZ" only problem, because those players need to reach such a high standard to be chosen by the All Blacks, were as a country like Ireland wants them a lot earlier like that. This is basically the 'ready in 3 years' concept Ireland relied on, versus the '5 years and they've left' concept' were that player is now ready to be chosen by the All Blacks (given a contract to play Super, ala SBW, and hopefully Manu).


The 'mercenary' thing that will take longer to expire, and which I was referring to, is the grandparents rule. The new kids coming through now aren't going to have as many gp born overseas, so the amount of players that can leave with a prospect of International rugby offer are going to drop dramatically at some point. All these kiwi fellas playing for a PI, is going to stop sadly.


The new era problem that will replace those old concerns is now French and Japanese clubs (doing the same as NRL teams have done for decades by) picking kids out of school. The problem here is not so much a national identity one, than it is a farm system where 9 in 10 players are left with nothing. A stunted education and no support in a foreign country (well they'll get kicked out of those countries were they don't in Australia).


It's the same sort of situation were NZ would be the big guy, but there weren't many downsides with it. The only one I can think was brought up but a poster on this site, I can't recall who it was, but he seemed to know a lot of kids coming from the Islands weren't really given the capability to fly back home during school xms holidays etc. That is probably something that should be fixed by the union. Otherwise getting someone like Fakatava over here for his last year of school definitely results in NZ being able to pick the cherries off the top but it also allows that player to develop and be able to represent Tonga and under age and possibly even later in his career. Where as a kid being taken from NZ is arguably going to be worse off in every respect other than perhaps money. Not going to develop as a person, not going to develop as a player as much, so I have a lotof sympathy for NZs case that I don't include them in that group but I certainly see where you're coming from and it encourages other countries to think they can do the same while not realising they're making a much worse experience/situation.

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