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'I was petrified' - Shane Williams opens up about struggles

A dejected Shane Williams of Wales reacts during the 2011 IRB Rugby World Cup bronze final match between Wales and Australia at Eden Park on October 21, 2011 in Auckland, New Zealand. (Photo by David Rogers/Getty Images)

Wales great Shane Williams has opened up with struggles after retiring from professional rugby on an appearance on The Big Jim Show, Jim Hamilton’s new podcast.

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A former World Rugby Player of the Year in 2008, Williams hung up his boots in 2015. The jet-heeled winger continues to work in rugby as an occasional broadcaster, but seven years on from his retirement he admits he’s found the transition incredibly hard.

“It’s been massively difficult,” he told Hamilton. “One of the things I worried about was going from a team environment, which I spent over 16 years in, where you are always with someone, to the realisation you have retired and it is you on your own. It is very daunting, very scary. I was petrified.

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“It is frightening, it is hard and it took me a lot of time to adjust to. There were players in that team who I had played with for 10 years, lads who knew me better than I knew myself. All of sudden, they are gone.

“I certainly felt like a spare part [in family life],” he added. “You spend so much time trying to be good at something that is very unique. Then, when you are pretty good at that and people notice you it is a great place to be and I loved every minute of it.”

Williams earned 87 Wales caps and four British & Irish Lions caps but worried that he didn’t have any real world skills after concentrating for decades on being a rugby player.

“But when I retired I found I wasn’t that skilled at anything else. I felt I lost that importance. I’d played 87 times for Wales and on Lions tours and then on the Monday it was just this whole new world. Obviously being with the kids was great but I just thought ‘hold on, what else am I actually good at?’ I’d spent so long trying to be a very good rugby player, I thought ‘have I neglected everything else? What skills do I have? Am I even relevant to anyone anymore?’ That was in the space of a weekend.

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“I felt completely irrelevant for a long time until you find your feet. I have been retired a long time now and I still think sometimes ‘what am I doing? Are people thinking ‘you’re just a rugby player, what do you know in this life’. It is intimidating.”

The support of his wife Gail has proved vital for the 35-year-old.

“I’ve known Gail a long, long time,” he added. “We started going out when I was 18 and she was 17. She understands me really well. The rugby life was easy. I knew exactly what I was doing and she understood and she dealt with that. I think she was more nervous than I was when it came to the point of retirement. She knew how hard I had trained but we collectively looked at each other and thought ‘what happens here?’

“When I retired I kind of went into my shell a little bit because I was worried. I was worried about how me and Gail were going to be in a whole different world. She had been in my rugby world for over 15 years and now I was in the family and business life. It was very difficult for her. I was in the house for about three or four days after retiring and she just told me ‘you have to get out and do something’. I couldn’t relax, I couldn’t sit down. I was getting on her nerves.

“She is great. She has known me a long time and knows me better than I know myself. She has been so supportive. I am very lucky.”

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Williams, speaking as part of Mental Health Awareness Month, admitted that he had lost people to ‘suicide’.

“I have experienced lows and anxiety,” he said. “I have had times I have really struggled. The world is a scary place, no matter who you are, we all get frightened of things and anxious of things. I have friends who have suffered massively, especially during the pandemic.

“I have lost people over the years to depression, to suicide. It is something that affects us all and the important thing I have found when I have been down is just speaking to someone. It is really important it is addressed and everyone is OK.”

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Oh no, not him again? 2 hours ago
England internationals disagree on final play execution vs All Blacks

Okay, so we blew it big time on Saturday. So rather than repeating what most people have all ready said, what do I want to see from Borthwick going forward?


Let's keep Marcus Smith on the pitch if he's fit and playing well. I was really pleased with his goal kicking. It used to be his weakness. I feel sympathy for George Ford who hadn't kicked all match and then had a kick to win the game. You hear pundits and commentators commend kickers who have come off the bench and pulled that off. Its not easy. If Steve B continues to substitute players with no clear reason then he is going to get criticised.


On paper I thought England would beat NZ if they played to their potential and didn't show NZ too much respect. Okay, the off the ball tackles certainly stopped England scoring tries, but I would have liked to see more smashing over gainlines and less kicking for position. Yes, I also know it's the Springbok endorsed world cup double winning formula but the Kiwi defence isn't the Bok defence, is it. If you have the power to put Smith on the front foot then why muzzle him? I guess what I'm saying is back, yourself. Why give the momentum to a team like NZ? Why feed the beast? Don't give the ball to NZ. Well d'uh.


Our scrum is a long term weakness. If you are going to play Itoje then he needs an ogre next door and a decent front row. Where is our third world class lock? Where are are realible front row bench replacements? The England scrum has been flakey for a while now. It blows hot and cold. Our front five bench is not world class.


On the positive side I love our starting backrow right now. I'd like to see them stick together through to the next world cup.


Anyway, there is always another Saturday.

7 Go to comments
C
CO 2 hours ago
Scott Robertson responds to criticism over All Blacks' handling errors

Robertson is more a manager of coaches than a coach so it comes down to intent of outcomes at a high level. I like his intent, I like the fact his Allblacks are really driving the outcomes however as he's pointed out the high error rates are not test level and their control of the game is driving both wins and losses. England didn't have to play a lot of rugby, they made far fewer mistakes and were extremely unlucky not to win.


In fact the English team were very early in their season and should've been comfortably beaten by an Allblacks team that had played multiple tests together.


Razor has himself recognised that to be the best they'll have to sort out the crisis levels of mistakes that have really increased since the first two tests against England.


Early tackles were a classic example of hyper enthusiasm to not give an inch, that passion that Razor has achieved is going to be formidable once the unforced errors are eliminated.


That's his secret, he's already rebuilt the passion and that's the most important aspect, its inevitable that he'll now eradicate the unforced errors. When that happens a fellow tier one nation is going to get thrashed. I don't think it will be until 2025 though.


The Allblacks will lose both tests against Ireland and France if they play high error rates rugby like they did against England.


To get the unforced errors under control he's going to be needing to handover the number eight role to Sititi and reset expectations of what loose forwards do. Establish a clear distinction with a large, swarthy lineout jumper at six that is a feared runner and dominant tackler and a turnover specialist at seven that is abrasive in contact. He'll then need to build depth behind the three starters and ruthlessly select for that group to be peaking in 2027 in hit Australian conditions on firm, dry grounds.


It's going to help him that Savea is shifting to the worst super rugby franchise where he's going to struggle behind a beaten pack every week.


The under performing loose forward trio is the key driver of the high error rates and unacceptable turn overs due to awol link work. Sititi is looking like he's superman compared to his openside and eight.


At this late stage in the season they shouldn't be operating with just the one outstanding loose forward out of four selected for the English test. That's an abject failure but I think Robertson's sacrificing link quality on purpose to build passion amongst the junior Allblacks as they see the reverential treatment the old warhorses are receiving for their long term hard graft.


It's unfortunately losing test matches and making what should be comfortable wins into nail biters but it's early in the world cup cycle so perhaps it's a sacrifice worth making.


However if this was F1 then Sam Cane would be Riccardo and Ardie would be heading into Perez territory so the loose forwards desperately need revitalisation through a rebuild over the next season to complement the formidable tight five.

28 Go to comments
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