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'If I didn't leave the country then and get home to my support, I wouldn't be here any more'

Guildford during the Rugby World Cup in 2011

NZ Herald

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Former All Black Zac Guildford has opened up to Woman’s Day on the suicidal thoughts that forced him back to New Zealand following a tormented rugby career plagued by depression and drug dependence.

Guildford, who now lives in Hamilton, was offered an opportunity to play at Nevers in France late last year, and after originally ‘jumping at it’, turned it down due to his mental health.

“I thought I’d resurrect my professional career and iron out all the stuff I’d done wrong in the past,” Guildford told Woman’s Day. “But the pressure was too much. I was having suicidal thoughts. I knew if I didn’t leave the country then and get home to my support, I wouldn’t be here any more.”

https://www.instagram.com/p/BtO0JL1nCe1/?utm_source=ig_embed

Guildford was a member of the All Blacks squad that won the 2011 World Cup but his career nosedived afterwards because of issues with alcohol and mental health.

Guildford said the tragic passing of his father in 2009, who suffered a heart attack in the stands while watching him play for New Zealand in the Under 20 World Cup final in Tokyo, was the ‘tipping point’ of his troubled career.

Continue reading below…

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Guildford said he still hadn’t processed his father’s death by the time the Rugby World Cup came around in 2011.

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Woman’s Day reported Guildford developed a secret thousand-dollar-a-week drug habit while playing for Clermont Auvergne in France in 2015, where he was caught with cocaine in his system and had his contract terminated.

Guildford now works as a teaching aide for teens with intellectual disabilities and said he is finally feeling happy.

In February, the 10-test international winger was rushed to hospital in Phuket, Thailand after being involved in a motorbike accident while celebrating his 30th birthday. He was reportedly riding pillion on a Harley Davidson when he fell off the back and suffered severe grazes to his back, hand and backside.

Although now living in Hamilton, he was not selected for this year’s Waikato provincial side. But he was back in the public eye in August when appearing on Celebrity Treasure Island.

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This article first appeared on nzherald.co.nz and is republished with permission.

Former England captain Dylan Hartley has revealed what it was like working with coach Eddie Jones:

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Oh no, not him again? 2 hours ago
England internationals disagree on final play execution vs All Blacks

Okay, so we blew it big time on Saturday. So rather than repeating what most people have all ready said, what do I want to see from Borthwick going forward?


Let's keep Marcus Smith on the pitch if he's fit and playing well. I was really pleased with his goal kicking. It used to be his weakness. I feel sympathy for George Ford who hadn't kicked all match and then had a kick to win the game. You hear pundits and commentators commend kickers who have come off the bench and pulled that off. Its not easy. If Steve B continues to substitute players with no clear reason then he is going to get criticised.


On paper I thought England would beat NZ if they played to their potential and didn't show NZ too much respect. Okay, the off the ball tackles certainly stopped England scoring tries, but I would have liked to see more smashing over gainlines and less kicking for position. Yes, I also know it's the Springbok endorsed world cup double winning formula but the Kiwi defence isn't the Bok defence, is it. If you have the power to put Smith on the front foot then why muzzle him? I guess what I'm saying is back, yourself. Why give the momentum to a team like NZ? Why feed the beast? Don't give the ball to NZ. Well d'uh.


Our scrum is a long term weakness. If you are going to play Itoje then he needs an ogre next door and a decent front row. Where is our third world class lock? Where are are realible front row bench replacements? The England scrum has been flakey for a while now. It blows hot and cold. Our front five bench is not world class.


On the positive side I love our starting backrow right now. I'd like to see them stick together through to the next world cup.


Anyway, there is always another Saturday.

7 Go to comments
C
CO 2 hours ago
Scott Robertson responds to criticism over All Blacks' handling errors

Robertson is more a manager of coaches than a coach so it comes down to intent of outcomes at a high level. I like his intent, I like the fact his Allblacks are really driving the outcomes however as he's pointed out the high error rates are not test level and their control of the game is driving both wins and losses. England didn't have to play a lot of rugby, they made far fewer mistakes and were extremely unlucky not to win.


In fact the English team were very early in their season and should've been comfortably beaten by an Allblacks team that had played multiple tests together.


Razor has himself recognised that to be the best they'll have to sort out the crisis levels of mistakes that have really increased since the first two tests against England.


Early tackles were a classic example of hyper enthusiasm to not give an inch, that passion that Razor has achieved is going to be formidable once the unforced errors are eliminated.


That's his secret, he's already rebuilt the passion and that's the most important aspect, its inevitable that he'll now eradicate the unforced errors. When that happens a fellow tier one nation is going to get thrashed. I don't think it will be until 2025 though.


The Allblacks will lose both tests against Ireland and France if they play high error rates rugby like they did against England.


To get the unforced errors under control he's going to be needing to handover the number eight role to Sititi and reset expectations of what loose forwards do. Establish a clear distinction with a large, swarthy lineout jumper at six that is a feared runner and dominant tackler and a turnover specialist at seven that is abrasive in contact. He'll then need to build depth behind the three starters and ruthlessly select for that group to be peaking in 2027 in hit Australian conditions on firm, dry grounds.


It's going to help him that Savea is shifting to the worst super rugby franchise where he's going to struggle behind a beaten pack every week.


The under performing loose forward trio is the key driver of the high error rates and unacceptable turn overs due to awol link work. Sititi is looking like he's superman compared to his openside and eight.


At this late stage in the season they shouldn't be operating with just the one outstanding loose forward out of four selected for the English test. That's an abject failure but I think Robertson's sacrificing link quality on purpose to build passion amongst the junior Allblacks as they see the reverential treatment the old warhorses are receiving for their long term hard graft.


It's unfortunately losing test matches and making what should be comfortable wins into nail biters but it's early in the world cup cycle so perhaps it's a sacrifice worth making.


However if this was F1 then Sam Cane would be Riccardo and Ardie would be heading into Perez territory so the loose forwards desperately need revitalisation through a rebuild over the next season to complement the formidable tight five.

28 Go to comments
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