Maybe Zebre Shouldn't Be Playing In The Champions Cup

Italian club Zebre have sunk to the bottom of their Champions Cup pool with a points differential of -113 after just two rounds. Does Italian rugby, or anyone for that matter, really benefit from them being there?

Imagine you have bought a new house. You are brimming with excitement at the prospect of enjoying a new phase of life in your new abode, until on moving day you realise you can’t get the sofa through the door and around an awkward corner into the living room. For hours you toil; twisting, tilting, lifting, lowering, removing the feet, contemplating ripping the arms off and screwing them back on later. Finally you give up and slump defeated onto the sofa, half in and half out of the house, and weep salty tears of hopelessness.

Italian rugby is that sofa. Governing bodies, both domestic and international, twist and tilt rules to enable their clubs to partake in competitions and yet they steadfastly remain a poor fit and make many people want to cry.

This is never more obvious than with Zebre’s performance so far in the European Champions Cup.

Without putting too fine a point on it, Zebre are awful. In the Pro12 so far this season they have played five, lost five and have a points difference of -110. The only game they looked remotely like winning was against a misfiring Connacht in Parma, before a biblical storm caused it to be abandoned, as if the Lord himself would not stand for such a result.

Last season the Italian side finished second from bottom of the Pro12 due to a win at home on the final day of the season against a Dragons team that looked more lacking in motivation than a bloke walking to his own execution. The win clawed them above the other Italian side, Treviso, who had definitely had a better season, as their high number of losing bonus points attested.

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This is where the rule twisting for Italian rugby kicks in. As it is decreed that one of their clubs must be in the premier European competition, and as Zebre were the highest placed Italian team in the Pro12, they qualified for the 2016-17 European Champions Cup in a group alongside Wasps, Connacht and French giants Toulouse.

After two matches in this group the table looks like this for Zebre: played 2, lost 2, with a points difference of minus 113, or put another way, an average losing margin of 56 points.

This weekend in front of their own fans they lost 52-7 to a Connacht team who have lost key players in the summer, and were without the magnificent Bundee Aki and the rested Ultan Dillane. Let that sink in for a moment – teams can rest their best players for an away fixture in Europe’s premier competition because it’s against the comedy ensemble parading as rugby team that is Zebre. The Italian hooker getting a red card for biting didn’t help either.

This is a problem on many levels. It makes a mockery of what is meant to be the best tournament on the continent. It also raises the question of how exactly this assists Italian rugby, as there are no convincing arguments that simply being included in order to have your arse handed to you each round is beneficial to the players or the sport. Finally, there is the opportunity cost issue. By being in the tournament Zebre are taking a place that could be given to another team which based on last year’s table is Ospreys, who are currently third in the Pro12 and playing some lovely rugby. A group of Wasps, Connacht, Toulouse, Ospreys looks far more like an elite competition to me.

What about the development of Italian rugby? Doesn’t that benefit from a team in the tournament? Evidence would suggest that no, it does not. Many years into the elevation of Italian rugby to elite levels their club teams remain steadfastly poor and full of imports, their national team appears to be Sergio Parrise’s dysfunctional support network and their player development pipeline appears chronically blocked, like that sofa in the doorway of hope.

The difference is if your old sofa doesn’t fit you can always buy a new one – it’s not quite so simple to do that with an entire national rugby infrastructure.