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'Neil Best picked up the goldfish out of bowl, put it in his pint and downed it. The fish was never seen again'

(Photo by David Rogers/Getty Images)

Dylan Hartley has recalled how a raucous Christmas night on the tiles one year with Northampton resulted in him having to retrace his steps the following morning and offer apologies on behalf of the club, but he couldn’t fix one particular delicate dilemma caused by Neil Best.

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The former Ireland international flanker had a reputation as a bit of a hell-raiser away from the pitch and Hartley this week remembered how one December night of night jinx created a problem that even the Saints club captain couldn’t solve.

Appearing as co-host on the latest RugbyPass Offload show, Hartley was asked to pick a party time player he would include on a fictional XV of Best All-Time Tourists and, without much hesitation, he nominated Best, his former Northampton teammate, for selection.

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The now-41-year-old from Ulster hooked up with Saints in summer 2008, spending two seasons with the Franklin’s Gardens club before moving on to Worcester and seeing out his club career at London Scottish before moving to the Far East and taking up a new career as a loss adjuster with a shipping company.

It’s now a decade since he was at Northampton but his memory lives on with Hartley, who himself retired from playing in 2019 after a number of seasons as England skipper under Eddie Jones.

“I’ll just need to say the name and I’ll tell you a quick story about this man – Neil Best, Irish openside flanker,” said Hartley. “Anyone listening who knows Neil Best will understand completely why he is in this touring team.

“Like every good Irish person I know, he loves a drink. He is the life and soul of the party. We had a Christmas party a few years ago and something I learned as a captain is taking a team into public places is a no-no. It took me four, five years to work that out.

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“I ended up having all team socials basically in the changing room because you put 40, 50 blokes together with a whole load of alcohol, all social norms go out the window…

“We hired a bus and did a pub crawl around Northampton, a double decker bus decorated in Christmas fancy dress and whatnot. We did the twelve pubs of Christmas and things started going missing from the pubs.

“The double decker bus started collecting everything from baubles to pool cues to clocks. We had Christmas trees, we were taking Christmas trees from pubs. I just want to say the worst thing about being captain as well is Sunday going around your community apologising and emotionally paying people off while all the boys are hungover in bed.

“This is one of those things about leadership that people don’t see, you have to go and do a clean-up job. During the course of the night full park benches got put onto the double decker bus, Christmas trees, a card reader machine, all these things were taken.

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“But the one thing we couldn’t return the next day was a pub’s goldfish. Neil Best picked up the goldfish out of bowl, put it in his pint and downed it. The fish was never seen again.

“When we used to go out you’d get in a round and buy pints but he [Best] would walk in and buy two bottles of vodka. He would keep the pourer on it and he would go around and just shove it in anyone’s mouth and say, ‘Sucky calf’. You’d have to drink from the bottle like a sucky calf. He basically got things going, but that fish story will live with me for a very long time.

“Funnily enough when he lived in Northampton he lived one door down from the local pub and it was as bit like a marriage, he was barred from it and then was back in it, barred and then back in. Brilliant guy, good team man. Life and soul of the party. Get him on our tour.”

 

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G
GrahamVF 17 minutes ago
Does South Africa have a future in European competition?

"has SA actually EVER helped to develop another union to maturity like NZ has with Japan," yes - Argentina. You obviously don't know the history of Argentinian rugby. SA were touring there on long development tours in the 1950's

We continued the Junior Bok tours to the Argentine through to the early 70's

My coach at Grey High was Giepie Wentzel who toured Argentine as a fly half. He told me about how every Argentinian rugby club has pictures of Van Heerden and Danie Craven on prominent display. Yes we have developed a nation far more than NZ has done for Japan. And BTW Sa players were playing and coaching in Japan long before the Kiwis arrived. Fourie du Preez and many others were playing there 15 years ago.


"Isaac Van Heerden's reputation as an innovative coach had spread to Argentina, and he was invited to Buenos Aires to help the Pumas prepare for their first visit to South Africa in 1965.[1][2] Despite Argentina faring badly in this tour,[2] it was the start of a long and happy relationship between Van Heerden and the Pumas. Izak van Heerden took leave from his teaching post in Durban, relocated to Argentina, learnt fluent Spanish, and would revolutionise Argentine play in the late 1960s, laying the way open for great players such as Hugo Porta.[1][2] Van Heerden virtually invented the "tight loose" form of play, an area in which the Argentines would come to excel, and which would become a hallmark of their playing style. The Pumas repaid the initial debt, by beating the Junior Springboks at Ellis Park, and emerged as one of the better modern rugby nations, thanks largely to the talents of this Durban schoolmaster.[1]"


After the promise made by Junior Springbok manager JF Louw at the end of a 12-game tour to Argentina in 1959 – ‘I will do everything to ensure we invite you to tour our country’ – there were concerns about the strength of Argentinian rugby. South African Rugby Board president Danie Craven sent coach Izak van Heerden to help the Pumas prepare and they repaid the favour by beating the Junior Springboks at Ellis Park.

147 Go to comments
J
JW 6 hours ago
Does South Africa have a future in European competition?

I rated Lowe well enough to be an AB. Remember we were picking the likes of George Bridge above such players so theres no disputing a lot of bad decisions have been made by those last two coaches. Does a team like the ABs need a finicky winger who you have to adapt and change a lot of your style with to get benefit from? No, not really. But he still would have been a basic improvement on players like even Savea at the tail of his career, Bridge, and could even have converted into the answer of replacing Beauden at the back. Instead we persisted with NMS, Naholo, Havili, Reece, all players we would have cared even less about losing and all because Rieko had Lowe's number 11 jersey nailed down.


He was of course only 23 when he decided to leave, it was back in the beggining of the period they had started retaining players (from 2018 onwards I think, they came out saying theyre going to be more aggressive at some point). So he might, all of them, only just missed out.


The main point that Ed made is that situations like Lowe's, Aki's, JGP's, aren't going to happen in future. That's a bit of a "NZ" only problem, because those players need to reach such a high standard to be chosen by the All Blacks, were as a country like Ireland wants them a lot earlier like that. This is basically the 'ready in 3 years' concept Ireland relied on, versus the '5 years and they've left' concept' were that player is now ready to be chosen by the All Blacks (given a contract to play Super, ala SBW, and hopefully Manu).


The 'mercenary' thing that will take longer to expire, and which I was referring to, is the grandparents rule. The new kids coming through now aren't going to have as many gp born overseas, so the amount of players that can leave with a prospect of International rugby offer are going to drop dramatically at some point. All these kiwi fellas playing for a PI, is going to stop sadly.


The new era problem that will replace those old concerns is now French and Japanese clubs (doing the same as NRL teams have done for decades by) picking kids out of school. The problem here is not so much a national identity one, than it is a farm system where 9 in 10 players are left with nothing. A stunted education and no support in a foreign country (well they'll get kicked out of those countries were they don't in Australia).


It's the same sort of situation were NZ would be the big guy, but there weren't many downsides with it. The only one I can think was brought up but a poster on this site, I can't recall who it was, but he seemed to know a lot of kids coming from the Islands weren't really given the capability to fly back home during school xms holidays etc. That is probably something that should be fixed by the union. Otherwise getting someone like Fakatava over here for his last year of school definitely results in NZ being able to pick the cherries off the top but it also allows that player to develop and be able to represent Tonga and under age and possibly even later in his career. Where as a kid being taken from NZ is arguably going to be worse off in every respect other than perhaps money. Not going to develop as a person, not going to develop as a player as much, so I have a lotof sympathy for NZs case that I don't include them in that group but I certainly see where you're coming from and it encourages other countries to think they can do the same while not realising they're making a much worse experience/situation.

147 Go to comments
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LONG READ Does South Africa have a future in European competition? Does South Africa have a future in European competition?
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