Northern Edition

Select Edition

Northern Northern
Southern Southern
Global Global
New Zealand New Zealand
France France

'Psychopath', 'melted welly': Tom Varndell names his Ultimate XV

(Photo by Jamie McDonald/Getty Images)

Former England wing Tom Varndell, the long-time all-time Premiership try-scorer until his tally of 92 was surpassed last year by Chris Ashton, has named an Ultimate XV consisting of players encountered across his lengthy career. The retired 37-year-old won four Test caps while also starring for Leicester and Wasps in a club CV that also included stints with Bristol, Scarlets and Yorkshire.

ADVERTISEMENT

Now working for Elite Athlete Management, a global sports management company, he made a guest appearance on this week’s RugbyPass Offload show. After talking through his career, he finished his interview by naming an XV made up of the best players he played with or against. Here is how his selection announcement unfolded:

“Loosehead, Marcos Ayerza. Played with him at Leicester Tigers. Ultimate professional. Hardly ever got injured. He was unbelievable. Really talented bloke. My hooker would be George Chuter. Great character, great clubman as well at Leicester Tigers. Very talented player as well.

Video Spacer

Wade vs Ashton

Video Spacer

Wade vs Ashton

“Julian White would be my tighthead prop. Absolute psychopath. You’d never ever want to piss off Julian. He was a very quiet bloke, but he was one of those guys who would be very unapproachable but just an unbelievable player.

“No4, Martin Johnson. He was my first captain at Tigers. He speaks for himself. He was just unreal. Simon Shaw would be my other lock. Man mountain and a great bloke on and off the pitch and he knew how to have a good time.

Related

“No6 was Tom Croft. He was probably one of the best athletes I have ever seen on a rugby pitch. I actually think he beat me in a couple of sprints as well, he was just so talented and just an unbelievable athlete.

“No7 was Tom Rees. He was one of my captains at Wasps. His career got cut short quite soon but he would have gone on to be captain of England and probably got about 100 caps. He was a very talented boy. James Haskell, No8. Terrible banter, an absolute shithouse, but in terms of his work ethic and the way he played on the pitch he was unbelievable.

ADVERTISEMENT

“Joe Simpson would be my No9. He is one of the most talented scrum-halves to play the game. Didn’t get many England caps but lightning quick. Just such a talented boy. Really, really good and a nice bloke as well.

“Andy Goode would be my No10. Physically was in the worst condition, like a melted welly, but in terms of his skill set, he had one of the best passes in the game and his kicking game was unreal. Plus, he put me in for my first try for Tigers. He was so talented.

“In the backs, we have got Lote Tuqiri who shoved my head up my own arse during the Australia match. He was one of my idols growing up and he was just a hell of a player. When he came over to Tigers and he managed to play against me, he was just as good. He was such a good player, such a big bloke as well.

“Aaron Mauger would be my No12. The most skillful player I ever played with. Really good for youngsters coming through the system as well. Had a lot of time for boys. Great player.

ADVERTISEMENT

“Mathew Tait would be my No13. I played with him all the way through age-group stuff, known him for a long time and again, he didn’t get as many England caps as he should have but he was so professional, worked so hard off the pitch and on it.

“Then No14 would be Alesana Tuilagi. Just an incredible player. Devastating with the ball in hand. He was almost impossible to stop when he was on his day.

“Geordan Murphy would be my No15. He was just quality, both on the international stage and at club level. Bit of a mentor for me and yeah, just a fantastic player.”

Varndell finished off his appearance on the show by taking on a quickfire Q&A challenge:

RugbyPass Offload: Best player you ever played with?
Tom Varndell: Geordan Murphy.

RPO: Best player you ever played against?
TV: Lote Tuqiri.

RPO: Biggest fight you witnessed in training?
TV: Alesana versus Lewis Moody. Playing a game of touch and Alesana got touched about 25 times, but he has carried on running and scored a try and Lewis Moody has just come out of nowhere and absolutely belted him in the back of the head. It all erupts, crazy, and then Martin Johnson grabs hold of Lewis and knocks him clean out. It was horrendous.

RPO: Three players with you in a cab on the way to the biggest party of your lives?
TV: Christian Wade, Danny Cipriani and Luke Narraway.

RPO: And finally, a player who has rubbed you up the wrong way in your career?
TV: Chris Ashton. I’ll say no more.

ADVERTISEMENT

LIVE

{{item.title}}

Trending on RugbyPass

Comments

0 Comments
Be the first to comment...

Join free and tell us what you really think!

Sign up for free
ADVERTISEMENT

Latest Features

Comments on RugbyPass

J
JW 2 hours ago
Does South Africa have a future in European competition?

I rated Lowe well enough to be an AB. Remember we were picking the likes of George Bridge above such players so theres no disputing a lot of bad decisions have been made by those last two coaches. Does a team like the ABs need a finicky winger who you have to adapt and change a lot of your style with to get benefit from? No, not really. But he still would have been a basic improvement on players like even Savea at the tail of his career, Bridge, and could even have converted into the answer of replacing Beauden at the back. Instead we persisted with NMS, Naholo, Havili, Reece, all players we would have cared even less about losing and all because Rieko had Lowe's number 11 jersey nailed down.


He was of course only 23 when he decided to leave, it was back in the beggining of the period they had started retaining players (from 2018 onwards I think, they came out saying theyre going to be more aggressive at some point). So he might, all of them, only just missed out.


The main point that Ed made is that situations like Lowe's, Aki's, JGP's, aren't going to happen in future. That's a bit of a "NZ" only problem, because those players need to reach such a high standard to be chosen by the All Blacks, were as a country like Ireland wants them a lot earlier like that. This is basically the 'ready in 3 years' concept Ireland relied on, versus the '5 years and they've left' concept' were that player is now ready to be chosen by the All Blacks (given a contract to play Super, ala SBW, and hopefully Manu).


The 'mercenary' thing that will take longer to expire, and which I was referring to, is the grandparents rule. The new kids coming through now aren't going to have as many gp born overseas, so the amount of players that can leave with a prospect of International rugby offer are going to drop dramatically at some point. All these kiwi fellas playing for a PI, is going to stop sadly.


The new era problem that will replace those old concerns is now French and Japanese clubs (doing the same as NRL teams have done for decades by) picking kids out of school. The problem here is not so much a national identity one, than it is a farm system where 9 in 10 players are left with nothing. A stunted education and no support in a foreign country (well they'll get kicked out of those countries were they don't in Australia).


It's the same sort of situation were NZ would be the big guy, but there weren't many downsides with it. The only one I can think was brought up but a poster on this site, I can't recall who it was, but he seemed to know a lot of kids coming from the Islands weren't really given the capability to fly back home during school xms holidays etc. That is probably something that should be fixed by the union. Otherwise getting someone like Fakatava over here for his last year of school definitely results in NZ being able to pick the cherries off the top but it also allows that player to develop and be able to represent Tonga and under age and possibly even later in his career. Where as a kid being taken from NZ is arguably going to be worse off in every respect other than perhaps money. Not going to develop as a person, not going to develop as a player as much, so I have a lotof sympathy for NZs case that I don't include them in that group but I certainly see where you're coming from and it encourages other countries to think they can do the same while not realising they're making a much worse experience/situation.

144 Go to comments
TRENDING
TRENDING Leinster player ratings vs Connacht | 2024/25 URC Leinster player ratings vs Connacht | 2024/25 URC
Search