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What the 'Cry Boks' say about the modern South African male
In a sport filled with tough men, Duane Vermuelen stood out across a 19-year career. You don’t earn the nickname “Thor” by playing nice, and for nearly two decades, this 6 ft 4 in, 260 lbs hammer of a man pounded opponents on either side of the ball.
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But in Chasing the Sun 2, the five-part docuseries chronicling the Springboks’ 2023 World Cup triumph, Vermeulen cries like a child who’s been told he can’t stay up past his bedtime.
Maybe that’s a little harsh. After all, Vermeulen was reflecting on the joy he felt having his wife and children with him on the pitch as he helped secure a second Webb Ellis Cup in four years. Having lost his own father when he was just eight, it was a poignant moment.
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Still, this is Duane Vermuelen we’re talking about. A man nicknamed after the Norse god responsible for lightning and thunder. A seemingly bullet-proof rugby player from a typically conservative Afrikaans community that places great stock in traditionally masculine virtues. To see him spill his guts in such a raw manner was not only emotionally moving, but culturally confronting.
The thing is, he wasn’t alone.
In the first season of Chasing the Sun, which was made after the Springboks’ 2019 World Cup win, Rassie Erasmus is practically inconsolable when he recounts the story of Makazole Mapimpi. The alpha uncle of South African rugby is reduced to a blubbering mess when he tells the tale of why his star winger did not supply the team’s kit manager with photos of loved ones to be adorned on the back of his jersey. With most of his family either dead or absent from his life, Mapimpi had to make do with pictures of himself.
There were similar waterworks after South Africa’s dramatic one-point win over England in the 2023 semi-final. Bongi Mbonambi, a man who looks like Mike Tyson with the power to match the great heavyweight boxing champion, melted in the Boks’ dressing room post-match. One of the team’s leaders had absorbed so much pressure across that absorbing contest that the release through his tear ducts effectively diminished him to a prepubescent kid. Once he gathered himself he looked up at Erasmus like a son to his father and leaned in for a soft hug.
In one episode Kwagga Smith is crying. After almost every tight win Pieter-Steph du Toit cries. There are tears from Damian Willemse and Jacques Nienaber and Daan Human and Deon Fourie. If saltwater could help crops grow, this batch of Boks would ensure there’d never be food shortages in South Africa ever again.
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None of this is meant to shame the Springboks. The opposite is true. This is meant to praise a group of South African men for challenging ingrained stereotypes around masculinity. What’s more, as a psychologist friend put it to me, they’ve given permission to other men who might have felt unsure on how to express the full range of their own feelings.
Across the multiple WhatsApp groups I’m a part of that mentioned Chasing the Sun, a common joke emerged. Though it was delivered differently, the broad message was that any South African watching should have a box of tissues close at hand.
This is not the South Africa I was raised in. At school, even in schools not renowned for their sporting prowess, any winter sport other than rugby was derided for being effeminate. Hockey, a sport that involves 22 players running around with sticks whacking a hard ball at great speed, was given the Afrikaans name ‘mofstof’, essentially, ‘gay stick’. This was a running gag from Cape Town to Pretoria.
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Rugby was not subject to ridicule. Despite the fact that the game is – let’s be honest – dripping with homoerotic events (ever played No 8?), it is regarded as the most manly of all pastimes. These masculine celebrations are seen in clubhouses where gallons of beer are put away in jaw-dropping gulps. They’re there in the locker room banter that – again, let’s be honest – veers into the sort of chat that landed Donald Trump in trouble during his 2016 US presidential campaign.
It’s woven into every thread of a sport that still treats the women’s game like a sideshow, that is littered with homophobic slurs and after-dinner speeches from retired pros that basically boil down to how many times they shagged on tour.
It’s there again when so many of Erasmus’ team talks are diluted to the mantra of “fuck them up physically”. This is a violent game. There is not only the risk of broken bones but life-changing brain trauma. It’s why commentators and journalists describe those who participate at the highest level as warriors and soldiers. It’s why Mbonambi and other Springboks compare the line behind them on defence to their front door that needs protecting as if Ben Earl or Jordie Barrett were home intruders hell-bent on abusing their family.
In a country as violent and misogynistic as South Africa, a nation where one in five women in relationships have experienced physical violence by a partner, these messages can be jarring. Taken in isolation, it would be easy to dismiss the Springboks of Erasmus and Siya Kolisi as agents of a morally corrupt ideology.
But these messages are not shared in isolation. So many of the players, including Kolisi, have established foundations with the primary aim of tackling gender-based violence. They’re a team that has used their platform to provide an example for men of all cultures. Through their overt displays of love for each other, as well as the torrents of tears, they have offered an alternate view on what it means to be a South African man.
Watch Chasing the Sun on RugbyPass TV now
Led yet again by Siya Kolisi, the Springboks went on to repeat the incredible feat four years later, going back-to-back in France for their fourth Rugby World Cup title, resulting in the newly released Chasing the Sun 2. It will also be available on RugbyPass TV, from August 1, 2024.
It’s a *Mofstok. Also, please would you explain what doos means, because you write around all 8 corners of that box mate. The views expressed in this piece is better fit for the halls of an American university trying to find itself and show you ran around with a stick.
Damn this article seemed to trigger everyone…
Daniel Gallan, please for the love of all that is holy, stop writing about rugby. Or at the very least stop telling people you are South African.
I’d like to know what homoerotic events Daniel enjoyed at 8th man. I clearly missed out!
Can’t wait for the article that talks about misogyny in Ireland. Somehow.
Less modern South African males predictably triggered.
Nah. We’re still celebrating getting past the quartefinals and going on to win 4 out of 8 World Cups we have played in. Its a great feeling, you should try it.
Oh, wait…..
This is might be the most generalised, entitled, patronising, out-of-pocket cultural indictment on a group of people you’ll ever see on what is supposedly a sports publication. I can only assume the author is weak like a woman or homosexual. I’m feeling an incredible range of emotions but I am not quite sure how to express them. I might go beat up a hockey player - assuming that’s okay with Duane and the boys? 🙂
RugbyPass writers are useless! you guys should get a real job because you all suck at writing about rugby!!!
Thank your for wasting 2 minutes of my life Daniel. There is a useful message in there somewhere but your delivery sucks.
Just another little grub who can’t find a real job, having a dig. Ignore the little gnat.
Very Ben Smith-y
Sux that homophobia is still a thing though. I wonder how many players who could have become legends never kept playing rugby because they felt unwelcome.
A phobia is a fear.
Maybe the word should be changed?
Men should show strength and be mean, but they should be able to show emotion to those close yo them in certain times, birth of your child, death of family, proud moment. This article is stupid
So you’re supporting a team made out of men who cry outside of the « legally manly situations » you described?
Are they still men if they do so?
What does it say about you supporting men who do not follow the situations you described?
That is so tiring to constantly prove to others and pressure yourself into fitting into a model of masculinity instead of just being yourself… You don’t need anyone to validate yourself as a man, you’re hurting yourself, and others.
That's exactly what the article is saying pal. It's OK to cry and show emotion.
As is the author.
You’d think he was Ben Smith's boyfriend, wouldn’t you?.
What a weak article…absolute drivel and clickbait, well done. Will stick to rugby365 thanks
Worst article I've read in a while. Trying to disguise a backhand slap as a compliment. The whole article is a bit weird and negative. I think South African men are emotional in general… think Clad le Clos’s father 2012 London Olympics.
This is the same website that published an article during the world cup titled “Sorry South Africa, Handre Pollard can't save you” By Ben Smith. I dont know what gross misconduct looks like when you get paid to spew faeces for a living but pretty sure anyone else in the world that bad at their job gets escorted off the premises without any need for a tribunal. I wouldn’t worry too much if I were you pal.
Misogynists have feelings too!
Exactly!
Now, where is my sandwich?..