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The Harlequins Cottages: 'An ironclad sisterhood'
‘There’s no place like home’, as Dorothy said in the Land of Oz before clicking her ruby shoes three times to get her back home. But what if you couldn’t return to your home at the end of a long journey? What if you couldn’t feel the warmth and cosiness of home.
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That’s the reality that some or most rugby players live, as sometimes they have to leave home to follow the dream of becoming a pro or enjoy playing rugby altogether. Unfortunately, sometimes their short-term new home can’t fill the gap, creating a sense of displacement and longing.
However, the testimonials you are about to read are from players who found a place they can call home, more specifically 10 players who live in cottages provided by Harlequins. 10 players live together in there, sharing not only the same club but also experiences, opinions, sadness, happiness, memories, and a friendship that has helped them feel secure.
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In Cottage ‘Casa Amor’, we can find Spanish veteran Laura Delgado, Premiership Women’s Rugby sensation Claudia Peña-Hidalgo and Swedish hard worker typhoon Maja Meuller.
In the Magicians’ cottage, Lucy Packer, Kayleigh Powell and the chiropractor Lagi Tuima are always plotting something fantastic; in ‘Martin Angels’ Alex Callender, Lizzie Hanlon and Sara Svoboda share the same roof; and in Nº4 (no name, which is quite enigmatic) Abbie Fleming, Carys Phillips and Silvia Turani have set up their domain.
But does living in a community, and a rugby community at that, work? Can it help overcome hardship and all the negative experiences that one encounters in their daily routine? According to four of those 10, yes, and it should be made possible for every club, as Meuller told us.
“It all comes down to the values of the club. They [Harlequins] have been super welcoming from the start, caring for us and they go the extra mile to make us feel at home. They make sure that we have a good place to stay and that we are with people with whom we are comfortable.
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“Before I moved over, Claudia and ‘Bimba’ [Laura Delgado] were already here, and I knew I was moving to shared accommodation. Annie [Poole], our team manager, called me to find out if everything was alright and if I was happy with the idea of living with two new people. For me, it was great to know that she cared.”
For Delgado, it has been a spectacular time and a brilliant end to her career as a player: “It is an amazing opportunity and experience. I can say I feel completely at home. I can say that this has been one of the best experiences of my life.
“To share my feelings, opinions and experiences with people from different countries, cultures and backgrounds has been incredible. I feel 100% myself every time I sit down with them to share a meal, talk, play a game or watch a movie. I know they will always have my back.”
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Italian international and Harlequins prop Turani pops in and explains how living with fellow teammates has helped her since arriving in England: “It gives a balance between your life as a professional player and what happens outside of the pitch.
“When we get home after our daily training routine, we can find a space not only to have a good time but also to decompress when we have bad practice or day. You talk with people who share the same environment and who actually know what you are going through.
“Yes, it can be seen as a problem, because then you never switch off rugby, and that’s why we have a rule in the cottages of no rugby talk on certain days. It is like having a network of people who understand you, where you come from and who can help you. You get home and they will be there for you, to have a laugh, a coffee, or just chat.”
Peña-Hidalgo, Harlequins’ newest star, adds how this living experience has been pivotal for her growth as a person: “When something negative happens, I close down a bit and just stay in my room. But at Harlequins, they are open to hearing me vent and understand my woes. I don’t want to dump on them, and I don’t want to make a big deal out of those situations, but I’m learning to be more open to talk and share.”
But do players share that much when things don’t go well? As Meuller explains, it has been vital for their ongoing season: “We do that a lot. In most training days, we talk about anything we need to vent. Good or bad things, it doesn’t matter. We share our thoughts in what is an honest and open environment. Of course, we lose our minds sometimes, but in a good way!”
Peña-Hidalgo jumps in and adds: “Yeah, but we lose it together. If one loses it, we all follow her. Who doesn’t want to lose it with people who understand you?”
Delgado, having played in Spain, France, New Zealand and England, gives her vision about sharing and being honest with what you think and feel: “100%. When you are young, you have that attitude that you know more than who’s around you and don’t come to ask for advice. But as you grow, the need to share pops out and in this cottage community you can do it easily we share the same club daily experiences.”
Turani, who arrived in England in 2021, opens up about how living together with fellow rugby players can help give you an extra boost: “I guess it is completely different. Rugby is our job, and it can seem that we are just colleagues who at the end of the day say our goodbyes and there’s no relationship, but that isn’t the case.
“Rugby is different, and especially in the Harlequins cottages, you have people who give you a push on those gloomier days, or who ask you the right question at the right moment, helping you feel better. I tend to get very serious and a bit anxious when it is gameday and to have someone who knows me and understands how I function can help a lot in my performance.”
Meuller agrees as well: “It definitely helps to have a space where you can express your thoughts and feelings, as it has the power to calm you down and deal with certain frustrations, especially with people who share the same working environment. Performance-wise, I think it can boost our morale, as we will be happier on or off the pitch. It is something that I’ve valued more since joining Harlequins, as I now try to value the whole experience.”
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Although a professional career in sports might sound like a dream come true, it has the same challenges, even more than other jobs, with moving away from home being one of them. In Turani’s words, finding a good environment is key to feeling at home: “I left my family home when I was 18 to go to college. I then moved to Spain and France and have bounced around since then.
“But when I first moved to England, it was a struggle, mainly because of the weather. Raining, grey sky most of the days, even in the Summer. For someone who is Italian, this can become a challenge.
“Also, after getting a degree in France, I moved back home, and we live in a beautiful place with lots of space. In the cottages I don’t have the same comforts, so that’s why it is so important to surround yourself with good people like the ones I have here. They make it all worth it.”
Harlequins have enjoyed a stellar season in Premiership Women’s Rugby, having won back-to-back victories in the last four months. Has the cottage environment had anything to do with it?
Delgado thinks it has: “I think it helped, yes. There’s a sense of a community and an ironclad sisterhood. For example, we just came back from the Magicians’ cottage. We were there for two hours talking with Lucy [Packer], Kayleigh [Powell] and Lagi [Tuima] about life and rugby. We have a special connection, and it is a positive point for the team and club.”
Meuller has the same opinion as her Spanish housemate: “I agree with Laura, and it was something we discussed in the past week. We have been performing so well because of the ability to be open and not take things to a personal level. We are transparent with each other, and we don’t bottle our emotions to the point we become frustrated.
“The cottages are a welcoming environment. Everyone feels included. For us, it is important to be listened to as it allows us to go the pitch and be ourselves. Jade [Konkel] has done a phenomenal job around the team to feel accepted. The team’s leadership has been the bedrock of our great run.”
Turani concludes with an on-point explanation: “Knowing the person behind the player helps to understand the player. Living to or next to someone who shares the same environment helps you connect better with them.”
Comfort, happiness, sharing, honesty and warmth. The Quins cottage environment has made it possible for these journeywomen to create a new family that understands and helps each other, as Delgado tells us: “I think it is important to understand that we are all very different people and have our way of dealing with our problems.
“The main thing to know is that there will always be a shoulder for whoever needs one. In the cottages, we are constantly worried about each other and how we are doing. It means a lot to have this comfort.”
She continues by revealing how the staff have been doing their best to promote a great work environment: “For example, after our afternoon training session, she always has hot chocolate or tea for all of us.
“It was important for me to have this type of environment as it was going to be my last year as a professional player, and I wanted to learn as much as I could about how things work. Harlequins have been building bridges and helping me to prepare for my next chapter, and I am deeply thankful for that.”
But with time running out, it is time to find out the hidden secrets, starting with… what they do in their free time. “Dinner together. Before joining the cottages, it wasn’t normal for me to dine with my teammates regularly, and now it is. It has been a new experience for me. It has been a great experience. Most of the time we just sit down and chat about.”
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And who excels in what? Best cook? Who’s the funniest? And who is the biggest cheat of all?
Delgado starts: “Maja! Excellent meatballs, pasta, so many things!”
Turani, being an Italian, has excellent pastry skills, “I am more of a pastry cook than a cook-cook. I heard that Maja has some MasterChef cooking skills.”
And what about cheating in games? Do you have someone strong in that craft, Delgado? “Lagi. She has to win every single game. She is always trying to find a way to win. We had a mini-game in the afternoon session, backs against forwards, and Lagi tried to change the rules mid-game. We still won, but she is a cheat!”
And any crazy stories that we might learn about? Delgado tells us one, specifically one that she was the ending target of a prank, “Oh, these two that I live with, can’t be left alone. Every time I get home, they are doing something crazy, like dancing on the sofa, showing up disguised as something or planning to plot against me!
“For example, I hate getting scared, and they come up with something so evil that I feel chills talking about it. Claudia was hiding under the blankets, I got home, went to my bedroom, and BANG!”
Meuller addresses the situation with a short remark: “I’ve never heard someone scream so loud, to be honest.”
The idea came from the dastardly Peña-Hidalgo: “We didn’t even plan it. We were talking about something else, and then… ‘Laura will arrive at any moment… what if we scared her?’. It was quite spectacular the reaction.”
And could the Amor Cottage brigade define the cottages in one word? “Family.” for Meuller, “Life.” for Delgado and “Safe” for Peña-Hidalgo.
Before saying our goodbyes, we asked Turani if she thinks she should push to build this kind of environment in the future, “I think clubs should create the opportunity for players to live next to each other. I am the kind of person who likes to live alone and who likes to choose when to spend time with people.
“I really did like how Exeter and Sale did with us, as we lived in the same building and had some common areas, but we had our own area. My dream would be like a building with apartments, and each player would get one, to guarantee a certain degree of privacy to the player, but with the opportunity to get together with their teammates.”
Being the eldest of the Quins cottage realm, Delgado concludes our conversation with a last departing thought: “I have had the pleasure to play in different teams, and what I found at Harlequins has been quite unique. Before looking at us as players, they worry about us as people. They worry about us to the tiniest detail.”
Home should be that corner of our life where everything makes sense; where we feel protected and safe, and can share our deepest thoughts, concerns and successes with the people we love. Harlequins, like other Premiership Women’s Rugby clubs, went to great lengths to provide a positive environment for their players, boosting their skills and aptitudes by doing so.
As said by JRR Tolkien himself, when Frodo travelled and finally reached the shores of Valinor, away from his underground hovel in Hobbiton, he found ‘A perfect house, whether you like food or sleep, or story-telling or singing, or just sitting and thinking best, or a pleasant mixture of them all.’ Merely to be there was a cure for weariness, fear and sadness.”. A sentiment shared with the Harlequins Cottages dwellers.
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