The Best 15 From the Touring Teams

Wales, England and Ireland are heading home after some formidable performances against their southern rivals. Lee Calvert puts together a form 15 from the touring teams.

England have an historic 3-0 win over Australia under their belts, Ireland’s seriously depleted squad nearly managed to beat the mighty Boks and Wales were predictably mauled alive by the All Blacks.  Here is a composite team of the tour from the Northern Hemisphere visitors.

15. Liam Williams (Wales) – Outstanding the opening test in his preferred fifteen shirt, he was then shifted over to wing and continued to be a bow-legged golden nugget twinkling in the river of effluent that Wales gradually became.

14. Andrew Trimble (Ireland) – The Ulsterman has taken some time to embed himself in the Ireland team, often due to being behind Tommy Bowe, but it’s difficult to figure out why as his time in SA has demonstrated again his positive attributes of intelligent play and solid defence.

13. Jonathan Joseph (England) – Still to discover the try natural scoring touch that accompanied his early caps, but is reborn as a defensive colossus in Paul “Wolfpack” Gustard’s defence.

12. Owen Farrell (England) – The best fly-half in Europe did a very good impression of the best 12 in Europe for most of this tour.  Eddie Jones’s decision to whip off Luther Burrell after just 20 minutes of the first test and move Farrell into midfield was the key moment that set the platform for the historic series victory.  Tackled like a demon, some calm and classy play with the ball and his place kicking is so outstanding he would probably slot a kick from the touchline in the middle of an earthquake

11. George North (Wales) – Only played one game, but in that time reminded us that he is one of the best in the world when fit and confident.  His magnificent sitting down of Julian Savea typified Wales’ new found confidence.  This didn’t last, and neither unfortunately did North’s fitness.  Anthony Watson was consistent without being amazing for England, but he was very close to getting in.  

10. George Ford (England) – In both the 2016 Six Nations and Bath’s run to the end of the season, George Ford’s play was absolute bobbins: shorn of confidence his decision making and execution were on a par with a drunk trying to have sex with a doorknob.  The Ford of this tour is unrecognisable from that which finished the season and England a very thankful.  He took the ball to the line, displayed his full and impressive range of passing, threw in some excellent and intelligent territorial kicking and perhaps the most impressive thing, his defence was immense, especially in the second test.

9. Conor Murray (Ireland) – The Munster scrum half was a leader on the so-very-nearly-victorious Ireland tour. He didn’t have much choice about this, of course, as Ireland’s injury list was so long the next person on the standby list was probably Bono, but he took the mantle on and led from the front in attack and defence.  Ben Youngs is perhaps unlucky not to get the nod, but Murray showed a little more.

1. Mako Vunipola (England) – A coming-of-age set of performances from the Saracens prop.  Scrummaged hard, tackled like a lion and brought that additional element of impact and offloading in the loose.

2. Dylan Hartley (England) – The England pack demonstrated that no matter how much rugby moves on, the old adage that forwards win games remains as true as ever and the England captain led his pack and his team magnificently; often in the face of a great deal of Aussie provocation.  In times gone by this would have led him to do something very, very silly.  He was also calm, level headed and statesmanlike in post-match interviews.  In fact, we’re not even sure if this guy is actually the same Dylan Hartley such is his change of attitude.  Maybe Eddie lets him have some special time alone in a room where he sticks his thumbs in the eyes of small animals to get it out of his system.

3. Dan Cole (England) – Face like he had a paper round in Chernobyl, Cole was one of the players, along with Chris Robshaw, who took a great deal of stick after the defeat to Australia in the Rugby World Cup.  No-one is giving him stick anymore.

4. Maro Itoje (England) – The young man’s performances are becoming almost unbelievable.  21 years old, he only really broke into the first team at his club this season and since that time he has started 26 games, won all of them and collected a Grand Slam, Premiership, European Champions Cup and now the first ever Australia whitewash.  English media can often get far too excited about young players (See Cipriani, Dan for evidence) but this time it looks like they have every right to lose their shit over this one.

5. Iain Henderson (Ireland) – A great, modern lock, Henderson had a great tour playing both at second row and one game at six.  Dynamic.  England’s George Kruis did nothing wrong, but Henderson showed a bit more, especially with ball in hand.

6. Chris Robshaw (England) – Was shellacked from all angles after the Rugby World Cup and throughout it remained what he is: a decent human being and a hardworking and (lest we forget) very good player.  Deserves every accolade coming his way

7. James Haskell (England) – It is perhaps the greatest testament to Eddie Jones’s abilities that he has made this giant lump into what looked like a world beater.  Interesting to see whether it lasts.

8. Billy Vunipola (England) – The form 8 in Europe carried his dominance into this tour, but even so he may not have made this team, as Taulupe Faletau was truly astonishing for Wales in two test, but then had a bit of disappearing act in the third while Billy continued to do what he has done all season, carry like a runaway locomotive for a full 80.

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