Would the OE Blacks Win the Rugby Championship? A Rugby Pass Investigation

Dozens of talented New Zealand players headed overseas after the Rugby World Cup. Jamie Wall looks at whether the ex-Kiwi squad would be good enough to compete against top-tier teams in the Rugby Championship.

Last year saw the largest exodus of All Black talent overseas at any one time in the professional era. A host of big names took their talents to France in exchange for fat pay days and a chance to get away from the hyper-attentive NZ media (apart from Dan Carter).

So you’d think there must be a decent former All Black team floating around in the ranks of the Top 14, English Premiership, Japanese Top League and even Super Rugby. One that could still compete in The Rugby Championship?

Well, sort of.

Here’s a First XV of overseas-based former All Blacks:

Fullback: Charles Piutau
Wing: Zac Guildford
Centre: Conrad Smith
Second five: Ma’a Nonu
Wing: Colin Slade
First five: Dan Carter
Halfback: Alby Mathewson
Number Eight: Victor Vito*
Flanker: Adam Thomson
Flanker: Daniel Braid
Lock: Jeremy Thrush
Lock: Jarrad Hoeata
Prop: Ben Franks
Hooker: Aled de Malmanche
Prop: Jamie Mackintosh

*OK, Vito hasn’t actually left yet, but he’s not going to be playing for the All Blacks anymore.

Great looking backline, solid loosies and a lightish tight five. But definitely good enough to have a decent run against the current Rugby Championship teams?

It’s important to note that this motley group of all-time greats (Carter, Nonu, Smith), honest toilers (Thrush, Thomson) and veritable pub-quiz answers (de Melmanche) will possess the motivation they once had when pulling on the All Black jersey. Because we all know ‘Nonu’ and ‘motivation’ don’t always go in the same sentence.

But that probably wouldn’t help them against the real  All Blacks, because with that tight five, they’d never get any ball. It is, however, conceivable to see them scraping in against the Wallabies, Boks and Pumas at home due to their counter-attacking ability. Another thing that will work in their favour is that fact that those teams have long since forgotten how to win in New Zealand. Slade can provide a very capable backup goal kicking option and can slot into first five if needed, while Mathewson and Thomson are still familiar with Southern Hemisphere rugby as they’re still slogging it out in Super Rugby.

Overseas though, it’s a different story. The front row is second rate and would probably even get shown up by the Wallabies. Ben Franks was (and presumably still is) a penalty dispensing machine in open play, so the deficit in threes would build up pretty quickly. In fact, set piece would be a major problem anyway and Braid’s aging legs probably would leave the other two loosies to have to do even more work. So even the Pumas would be able to overcome their historical performance anxiety against New Zealand teams.

OE Blacks Record

W vs Boks in NZ, Wallabies in NZ, at Eden Park for good measure, Pumas in NZ

L vs All Blacks (both games), Wallabies in Australia, Boks in SA, Pumas in Argentina

Projected Rugby Championship Placing: 4th, behind the All Blacks, Boks and Wallabies, but ahead of the Pumas

So maybe the player drain on the All Blacks post-RWC wasn’t actually as bad as we thought. Especially in the tight forwards, it says a lot to that the most recent ex-All Black hooker plying their trade overseas is from seven seasons ago. Out of that whole team, it’d be nice to have Piutau back, but given what we’ve seen in Super Rugby so far, there is more than enough talent to cover what has been lost lately.

Still though, I’d back the OE Blacks to beat the Lions next year.

Of course, instead of theorising about a team that’ll never play, it’d be great if the SANZAAR powers-that-be put in a side from the Pacific Islands in The Rugby Championship. But of course, we all know that’ll never happen.

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