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If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying

A truly original bit of cheating by Pulu

One of the good parts about the Mitre 10 Cup, aside from the often frivolous attempts at defence, is the opportunity for a lot of players to try new things. Counties-Manukau’s Augustine Pulu certainly got in on the act against Bay of Plenty, with this memorable way of stopping play and opposition momentum.

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It truly was an inspired act of gamesmanship. There’s no specific rule against demolishing the goal post, at least not yet, but it left the referee with no choice but to order a scrum for safety’s sake.

While Pulu’s antics didn’t stop BOP from scoring on the next play, it definitely deserves a spot in the pantheon of great moments in both successful and unsuccessful rugby cheating. Rest easy Aaron Smith, this is only for on-field indiscretions:

Who throws a shoe? Honestly? – Serial pest and permanent fake tan owner Nick Phipps found himself in possession of Malaki Fekitoa’s boot in a Bledisloe Cup test at Westpac Stadium, so did the grubbiest thing possible and hurled it 20 rows into the stands. It didn’t help his Wallaby side as they went down 29-9, but it wasn’t out of character for Phipps given that he also once dropped his shoulder on an Argentine physio running off the field.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQKTVDQGH6I

Hail to the KingRichie McCaw, long reviled by non-New Zealanders as the greatest cheat to ever enter a ruck sideways, saved his best act of rule breaking for a crucial moment against the Wallabies. Down 22-9 with 15 minutes to go, the skipper switched to the blindside of the scrum and then detached before the ball was out – giving him an acre of space on winger James O’Connor when Kieran Read passes him the ball. Some regard McCaw as an immortal, which is just as well because this try defies physical logic if it somehow doesn’t break any laws.

https://youtu.be/LYKSHZ1yhhE?t=7m43s

The world’s worst Hollywood – Simaika Mikaele isn’t a household name in the rugby world, but he brought the local Samoan sevens scene to the attention of the world with this woefully hilarious episode. After receiving little more than a tap to the cheek, his cowardly flop to the ground brought forth howls of laughter from not only the crowd, but the opposition, his own team and even the referee. Instead of penalising him for bringing the game of rugby into disrepute, the man with the whistle simply let him off with a pat on the back.

They’re still talking about this one in Wales – Yes, the Andy Haden lineout dive has been done to death, but it’s worth another look these days to just really get a feel of how doubly cynical it really was. The All Black lock’s journey to the ground is about as believable as a Donald Trump election promise, but if you look closely you can see Frank Oliver doing more or less the same thing. Their combined floppery certainly fooled the ref, who awarded the game winning penalty to the All Blacks.

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Rugby’s slimiest man – French fullback Yoann Huget has made the news for stamping on the face of an opponent and then pretending to be concerned about his wellbeing, and also getting used as a speed bump by Rene Ranger at Eden Park. However, his most shithouse act would have to be this effort for Toulouse against Bath that could’ve scored him a contract for any Premier League Football club.

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Sivan Levy 17 minutes ago
'Epitomizes what it means to us': Moana Pasifika coach on game-winner

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Flankly 1 hour ago
Why ‘the curse of the Bambino’ is still stronger than ever at Leinster

A first half of defensive failures is a problem, but they rectified that after half time. That left them with a points-difference mountain to climb. They actually did it, and spent minutes at the end of the game three points adrift, with possession, and on the opposition goal line. They had an extra player. And they also had a penalty right there.


Forget anything else that happened in the game … top teams convert that. They rise to the moment, reduce errors, maintain discipline, increase their energy, and sharpen their focus for those moments that matter. And the question for fans is simply one of why their team could not do this, patiently and accurately retaining possession while creating a scoring opportunity.


Different teams would have done different things with that penalty. A dominant scrumming team might have called the scrum, a successful mauling team might have gone for the lineout, a team with a rock star kicker and a sense of late game superiority might have taken the kick for goal, and a another team might have set a Rassie-esque midfield maul to allow an easy dropped goal. You pick what you have confidence in.


So Leinster picking the tap is not wrong, as long as that is a banker play for them. But don’t pick an option involving forwards smashing into gainline tackles if you have less than 100% confidence in your ball retention.


In the end it all came down to whether Leinster could convert that penalty to points. The stage was set, they held all the cards, and it was time for the killer blow (to mix a few metaphors). This is when giants impose themselves.


The coaching team need to stare at those few minutes of tape 1,000 times, and ask themselves why the team could not land that winning blow. Its not about selections, or replacements, or refereeing, or skillsets, or technique. It is a question of attitude and Big Match Temperament. It’s about imposing your will. Why was it not in evidence?

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Werner 2 hours ago
URC teams aren't proving Stephen Donald wrong

Mate, you're the one that brought up financials saying they have to run a 12 month season to make ends meet. If they were in the SRP they would be struggling more financially. If you think financials don't have an impact a teams competitiveness I would argue different. More money means more capacity to retain and develop talent, to develop rugby pathways and most importantly keep the lights on during the ebb years.


Secondly if we are calling SRP and URC a domestic comp I feel like we're colouring well outside the lines. But if we are drawing parallels to SRP and URC “domestic” comps and you're question of dominance I'd point out that SA have had 3 teams in each quarter final since they joined and either won or been a runner up to the tournament every year. Hardly flunking it. As far as fanbase, you can use viewership, subscriptions or bums on seats and CC is still ahead on the fanbase vs SRP, the benefit of a rugby nation with double the population of AU.

Other than financials the benefits of URC are also as you mentioned more games but also more teams and players getting exposure to professional rugby (it's actually 5 teams if you include the repechage of the SA teams). With the schedules and competition setup all URC teams are required to have enough players to field 2-3 teams across the season. Previously under the SR you had 5 teams being forced into 4 squads with minimal change between squads week in week out.


See the thing about the SR or URC being better for competitiveness falls over pretty quick when you understand its a too way street. Arguing that SA is better or worse off because they left the SRP implies that AU and NZ aren't impacted and that they some how stay sharp without outside competition. All teams are worse off in the regard that they are no longer exposed to the different playing styles But When you consider RWC I would argue that being in the URC is a benefit to SA because they are far more likely to face a European team in the pool stages than AU or NZ.

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SK 2 hours ago
Why ‘the curse of the Bambino’ is still stronger than ever at Leinster

Well Nick I have a theory why Leinster seem to lose so often at this stage of the season and it has to do with the Six Nations and what happens after that. In all of the seasons Leinster have come up short they have dominated going into the 6N. Then after that with Irish players coming out of camp they have some breathing space in the URC so they rest the lads. The SA tour almost always follows between week 12-16 of the URC. Leinster send weakened teams and have lost all games but one against the Sharks this year. They invariably ship one more in the URC regular season to an Ulster or a Munster and this year it was the Scarlets. They usually do so when starting weakened sides or teams that are half baked with a few of their internationals and their bench strength in what can be described as some kind of odd trail mix. The 6N takes its toll. The Irish lads come back battered and some come back injured. They also spend time in Irelands camp training within Irish systems with the coaches and these are slightly different to what they do at Leinster and in the last 2 seasons have been massively different on D. In the last 4-6 weeks of the URC the boys coming back from the Irish camp are not featuring. They are managed either side of the knockouts in the Champions cup. They sometimes play just 3-5 games over a 10 week period. They go from being battered and bruised to being underdone and out of whack. They lose all momentum with the losses they accrue and doubts start to set in. Suddenly sides find ways to unlock them, they make mistakes and they just cant deal with the pressure. At this time the weather also turns from cold, wet and rancid to bright and sunny. Suddenly the tempo is lifted on fields and conditions that are great for attractive rugby. Leinster start to concede points and dont put in the shift they used to. They have no momentum to do so. When will the coaching staff realise that they need to do something different at this point? They keep trying to manage the players and their systems in the same way every season when the boys come back from Ireland duty and its always the same result. A disaster in the last 3-4 weeks of the season. This year it came earlier. Maybe thats a blessing. With 2 rounds left in the URC they can focus their attentions. Perhaps thats where Leinsters attention needs to be anyway. They need to reclaim their bread and butter competition title before pushing onto the next star.

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