If Santa Claus played rugby – and why wouldn’t he – he’d undoubtedly play in the front row. The man loves a cookie, isn’t shy of downing a pint (of milk), is perpetually jolly and has an impressive waist and backside. He’s tailor-made for the pointy end of scrums.
More specifically he’d play hooker given he operates best behind a well-drilled pack of reindeer that function much like a rolling maul, dragging the big man over the line. Rudolph would be the set-piece general. Prancer the bulldozer into heavy traffic. Dasher the all-court virtuoso in the loose.
In this fantasy I’ve created, Santa still fulfils his main brief and delivers gifts, only they’re rugby related. So, tasked with the role of compiling a wish list for 2025, I’d like to send a message to the North Pole and hope old Papa Presents with the cauliflower ears hasn’t filled his quota.
Dear Santa, if you’re reading this, would you mind sorting a few of these out for me?
England’s women win the World Cup
It may seem odd wishing for the overwhelming favourites to win a tournament on home soil but this is the result that our sport needs. Anything other than an English triumph at Twickenham would constitute an upset, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be rooting for the Red Roses.
A trophy would serve as a tangible return on the RFU’s impressive investment in the women’s game. England rugby’s governing body has rightly copped a lot of criticism over the past 18 months but on this front they’ve been world leaders.
In Ellie Kildunne they have the game’s most outstanding player. They have a pack that consumes all before it and a domestic league that serves as both a lightning rod and a production line for elite-level talent. A World Cup would show other boards that taking the women’s game seriously leads to positive outcomes. Perhaps that might convince a few of them to follow suit.
A shift from the Saffas in the Champions Cup
Two weeks back the Sharks sent a rotated team to Leicester and got duly mauled by the Tigers in what is marketed as the best club competition in the world. Seven days later, for a domestic league fixture, coach John Plumtree fielded all his available big dogs including Ox Nche, Andre Esterhuizen and Aphelele Fassi. Siya Kolisi was a late – and mysterious – withdrawal – while Eben Etzebeth was still recovering from a concussion. Had they been available they’d have been on the roster too.
The Sharks it backwards, but they’re not the only ones. The Bulls and Stormers have likewise had their priorities muddled for the past three seasons. The South Africans involvement in the Champions Cup has not yielded positive results. The format has been a mess while the travel costs – both financially and to the environment – have not been justified. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to argue for their continued inclusion.
This could change if the respective coaches, team owners and boards decided to take the competition seriously, to place a premium on fixtures – home and away – and choose to field weakened teams instead in the URC in favour of having their Springboks available for the Champions Cup. On paper, all three sides should be challenging for the title. Right now they’re taking up space and wasting everyone’s time. A recalibration in mindset is what’s needed.
More love for the smaller nations
The international game has never been more competitive. World Rugby’s Pacific Nations Cup, as well as the scheduled second division of the World Rugby Nations Championship, allows so-called Tier Two nations more competitive rugby throughout the year. And with the 2027 World Cup expanding to 24 teams, the future looks brighter and more populated.
But as this is the season for extra portions and just one last glass of bubbles, I’m asking for more. I know it’s greedy, but I want to see even an increase in the number of games played between the established outfits and the up-and-comers.
Fiji, ranked ninth on World Rugby’s chart, have shown what is possible. But a chasm still exists between the elite and the chasing pack. The islanders’ gifted athletes, now playing either in Super Rugby or in Europe, were clattered by Ireland (52-17) and Scotland (57-17).
We must be careful not to create a caste system in our game. Cricket, especially Test cricket, is a perfect example of what can happen when a sporting biosphere becomes too closed off and too unwelcoming to those trying to gain a foothold. With only the occasional cross-Tier matches, there is a danger of this developing in rugby.
The All Blacks have not played in Fiji since 2011. England last played in Romania in 1989. South Africa’s last visit to Zimbabwe was in 1960 when both nations represented different flags. I recognise there is already too much rugby being played but we could achieve my wish with two tweaks.
Firstly we could implement a new law where the costs and profits of all Tests are shared between the hosts and the visitors. Secondly the so-called Tier One teams could send their development or under-20 sides. I doubt Uruguay would mind too much if France’s reserves showed up for an officially sanctioned Test series. Heck, while touring Argentina only five months ago, a rotated French XV played a midweek match in Montevideo. The game’s governing bodies have done well, but we’re just at the tip of the sport’s potential.
Now I know this will never happen, but this is a Christmas wish list after all. And as unlikely as this is, I know the next entry has practically no chance of ever coming true.
More pleasant debates online
What if we were all just a little more gentle, a little more relaxed, a little less serious about a game that involves adults running around like sugar-crazed toddlers? What if we didn’t fly off the handle when a RugbyPass editor doesn’t name your favourite player as the world’s best? What if you shrugged your shoulders rather than threw a tantrum when your favourite coach doesn’t receive universal love? What if you held your cool, rather than spew personal insults from your phone, when a journalist or content creator has a different opinion than your own.
Look, I know what this game can do to one’s mental and emotional state. I know the fate of an oval ball matters to millions. I’m South African. I was raised on the Kool-Aid served by Nelson Mandela. One of my earliest memories is the image of my father crying actual tears after Francois Pienaar lifted the Webb Ellis Cup in 1995. That image has stayed with me. Even when I’m critical of the Springboks, of their fans, of the way the game brings out the worst in so many people, I remember that image.
But let’s keep things in perspective this year, yeah? According to the World Meteorological Organisation 2024 will go down as the hottest year on record, taking the title held by 2023. Millions of people had their homes and lives devastated by floods, earthquakes, droughts and hurricanes. Countless more have had their families torn apart by falling bombs and drone strikes. Can we please get a bit of perspective?
Rugby is special because of its values. Decency and respect are woven into the fabric of this game but for some reason, when a website or social media page posts an opinion, this discourse quickly morphs into something toxic.
How about this: let’s actually enjoy rugby this year. Let us revel in Antoine Dupont’s genius or Cheslin Kolbe’s magic feet no matter who we support. Let us herald Ilona Maher as a trailblazer without resorting to lazy sexist tropes. Let’s treat the mistakes of referees and players as just that; mistakes. We’d all be better for it.
Lovely spirit in this article.
In the past I'm pretty sure teams like the Maori All Blacks have held test status for their oppositions, this needs to be extended to other All Black teams because you are not going to get the All Blacks sending a team to like Fiji were a B or C team could easily lose.
That is to say Fiji have received NZ XV teams etc, which will be the same players, from the B or C top side etc, but the game loses something, especially in their capacity to make money out of the All Black brand if theyre forced to play a team called New Zealand XV by WR. Essentially, if you haven't followed so far, WR to allow these types of fixtures to act like tests for one side, while the other can choose not to count it as a test (where currently a test game is a test game to my understanding). This will allow bigger nations to show much more freedom with the amount of T2 countries like Japan, and Italy etc they can play, let alone the USA or Georgia type team.
The AllBlacks may not have played Fiji in Fiji for a while, but they did play Fiji in San Diego this year. Which venue would have been likely to make more money for Fiji?
Ahh but it's xmas, who wouldn't wish for just as much reward for Fiji to be able to play at home? If England gave them a share of their revenue, all the ABs and Wallabies, theres, then I dare say we'd see Fiji being happy to host such games at home!
That is some wishful thinking of course, so San Diego it will be again no doubt.
Thanks Daniel for elevating the debate, putting in perspective the most important issues impacting our planet and setting the rugby values in the center of the debate. Doing so you remind me how fond I have been of your people and country during my 14 years stay there. Back in France I really enjoy rugby when it lives up to its core values as when last month the 80 000 fans in the Stade de France kept quiet and fascinated whilst the All Blacks performed their Haka under a magical light show.
Well said. I'll also add that I hope the French (players here) can understand think about the western perspective when it comes to rugby as well. Criticism the game or the referee is not a good look. I just hope that it was the state of the country that caused it and it fell outside the normal French characteristics. It might be a slightly different context but there was also a very similar sort of feeling on the ground during the 2011 RWC Final, and how things could been much less seemly if the All Blacks hadn't of won that game. Thankfully we haven't seen the like again and I hope that is the same for France.
I completely agree with this wishlist.
1. Straight feeds at scrums.
2. Get rid of the flying camera - only pigeons watch a game from that angle.
I like being able to better see how a scrum players out (I would therefor appreciate if it was also zoomed in more and not treating like another 'angle' as you suggest).
"2. Get rid of the flying camera - only pigeons watch a game from that angle." That's funny.